Life has its mysterious ways

Reflections of loneliness , love and boredom ..

2008-07-14T11:25:00.010+03:00

(Reflection 1) ... Its 5:50 p.m. , 10 more minutes to pass and the day is over . She grabbed her handbag, went to her friend on the office across the hall, asked her what’s she’s up to this evening? her friend had some family related issue .So her company offer was denied . Smiling at her, she wished her colleague friend a nice evening , and headed to the elevator , back to home ..

(Reflection 2) ... 10:15 p.m. , his friend’s name blinking all over his mobile screen , he picked up the call , his friend asked him if he’s free tonight for their usual late night coffee ,drive and chat session .. he answered in surrender “yeah.. sure”. It was his choice to go out in that routine drive or to not , though , whether this or that , it all had the same taste , nothing really special ..

(Reflection 3)... It was approaching 9:30 when he looked at his watch, he was still in the office , digging between papers , trying to finish that work proposal , he didn’t feel time , it’s not that he enjoys his work to the extent to forget the outer world .. though, his world , inner and outer has became work .. everything seems the same , he felt alone whether between papers or people .

(Reflection 4) ... As the customer reached for his pocket, she asked “VISA or Cash sir ?” he answered VISA , she smiled automatically as he given her the card , she drew the money , gave it back to him , with his bag of purchases and waited for the next . The man , didn’t even bother to eye contact her .But she’s used to that . It’s part of the job, to practice being a talking piece of furniture, whenever required.

(Reflection 5)... The waiter came with the orders tray , she had her lemon mint juice , the girls around her were loud and laughs-full , everybody seemed to have a good time , she seemed to have a good time too , still , she didn’t know why that agitating feeling of nonexistence wrapped her even as she smiled at their jokes .

(Reflection 6) ... It’s almost noon , she has been staring at her computer screen for the past 4 hours , faking work , trying to read her work emails , forming the replies , without any success finishing anything . Her mind is diving somewhere out of this small cubical, somewhere sunny , breezy with a view to clear her tired eyes , mind and heart . and it wouldn’t harm if she met someone in that breezy sunny place , and it wouldn’t be too bad if it turned out to be the one . she sighed , and went back into staring at her computer screen.

(Reflection 7)...Dancing with the rhythm, his arms twirling her, she gave him big smile and moved along , the second the music changed he nodded his head , and went back to his seat leaving her dancing with another cousin in the wedding , giggles and laughs all around , his mother winking him with agreement about that girl , but his mind was away , far away with someone he didn’t meet yet , a lady he imagined to spend his life with , yet , he doesn’t seem to find her , anywhere .

Imperfections.. spices of personality

2008-06-18T00:04:00.003+03:00

So .. its about time for another post .. been a while .. hasn’t it ?!

My friend and I were having a cozy chat the other day over some coffee , in the middle of the conversation , she said something that made me think , she said , people ,tend to look up the faults and imperfections instead of appreciating the personalization of flaws .

Humans .. are perfectionists by nature , we all aspire to get the perfect education , the perfect job , the perfect car , the perfect life and the perfect partner , its in our genes , but , when we look closer , we see that our lives and choices are further away from perfect , we try , we put the guidelines , and we take a look , then study , and measure , assess the good and bad , and then we announce our verdict .

It could be a valid procedure, when it comes to things that we buy , eventually , we need the value of our purchases to match what we have paid . But, when its non-purchasable value or entity, does the same method apply? As in , choosing friends or more precisely life partners ? Is it the same when we choose people whom we may think of as a possible partner? or is that if we fell in love , we no longer see imperfections ,We simply see what we want to see and forget all about those flaws we usually think of as a deal breaker ? So ,if its love , then no imperfections would be visible . But again, falling in love is the perfect case of finding the life partner, because , the real things is , far , far away ..

The thing is .. as we walk along the path of our lives ,and as we make our decisions , scan and sort people out , we should remember a small thing , that even though we aspire and believe that we deserve perfection in all what we intend to have and live with .. that still, we , ourselves, are far away from perfect .And that flaw s, those small imperfections ,personalizes us , as well as those around us , differentiate us and makes us simply , more spicy , unique and special .

Almost back ,,,

2008-03-21T23:03:00.004+02:00

In a couple of months it will be almost a year .. Since the last time I typed a post and blogged it .. Why did I stop ? Was I too busy to blog ? well, at first yes , for a while I was overwhelmed with work and life , I couldn’t post anything and I also couldn’t read my favorite blogs . It could be bad time management issue as well .. of course , later on , things got calmer , and I felt guilty for not blogging anymore , and for some reason I felt like I lost my blogging sense ..

So! What have I been up to for the past year? well , had a busy year at work , and a busy summer , spent a cool vacation in Syria , Cairo , Petra & RUM . Autumn was kind of depressing on all levels, socially and work wise, for some reason I was relieved that 2007 came to an end, and looking forward for a new fresh start with 2008. Unfortunately , 2008 did not start as good as I anticipated , mid January , I got my car glass’s broken , and my laptop robbed from my car , while I was buying something from a nearby home Supermarket , the bad thing was , I did not have a backup for my work , but I could manage eventually . So that was the first incident! During February , I got almost mugged by two men while withdrawing money from a main street ATM , if it wasn’t for God’s mercy I would’ve had my money & probably my car stolen from me . Will tell you the full story in another post, apparently, this kind of robbery is a trend lately in Amman with prices inflation, so be aware!

I feel like I missed a lot in blogging world , and I feel out of practice , that’s why I hesitated to write again , and whenever I received another heartwarming comment from my friends among bloggers , I felt the urge to write again , and tonight I just did . My fingers feel rusty and my stream of thoughts is still a bit frozen , but I guess it’s a matter of couple of posts , and hopefully I’ll be back on track .

Thank you all .. I guess I am back!

Staying alive ..

2007-06-28T10:00:00.001+03:00

I have finally written a vacation request , finally , after killing my self off in working , hard , staying late at work , missing my gym classes which has grown to be a routine for me in the past three years , passing through ongoing depression and frustration phases , stopping to believe in my abilities every now and then , and then again , recharge my powers to keep on believing in them , suffering an ugly moody state , missing the relaxed serenity of not worrying about anything after leaving work to home , spending weekends rehabilitating from the long tiring work days and surprising business trips , putting up with heavy kidding and “entertaining characters” , add to that , ugly competition . Finally, I’ll be able to take a break from this headache.

I realize that I am stealing those few moments of my work time to type down my thoughts, I have been wanting to do this for sooooo long, every time I pass through this state of repulsive depressed mood, I feel the need to vent it out into words, share it with my screen , for it wont get bored of my complain, which unfortunately affecting me in so many ways and which for some reason I cannot hide any longer .

Its surely not always as bad or frustrating, this style of vivid and speedy life isn’t always bad, it shows you what “precious time” mean, and you at some point get accustomed to it, however , its when you reach that point of taking no longer load , stress , suffering the delayed and pending success proves on your hard work , its then when you can no longer take it . It could be me , but for the past month and half , this cloud has been raining over my head showers of depression , frustration and self loathing .

Why?
It could because I’m always trying to prove myself to everybody around at work that I am capable of handling this , that I am , actually, the first female who is able to put up with all of this ongoing work load , and that eventually , the fruits of my hard work will have to grow big & sweet and all will enjoy a piece of it . And that I never accept defeat. when I started at this particular stream , I knew that pursuing this work will be a hard job , and I knew that it will take time , but I have also given myself a year to evaluate myself and see if I can handle the challenge .

Challenge, it’s the magical word that keeps your engines roar, your head high, and your footsteps steady and confident, that is of course , if you are up to it. And for me , it has been my only motivation , add to that those who has gambled that I wont make it and those who believed that I will make all of it, and every time I hear that I get more determined of going all through to the end , my goal is , cultivating those fruits , and then deciding if I can handle more of this war , or if I would be satisfied in winning a the battle and call it a challenge !

Going home .. blogging from Dubai Airport.

2007-04-13T11:44:00.000+03:00

March was a total madness , out of 31 days I spent a little over two weeks traveling between more than 5 cities and three continents.

Went to Cairo , Beirut , Damascus , Dubai , Lahore and Islamabad .
Being on the road is really tiring , despite the fun of seeing things from a different angle , and trying different life styles and atmospheres , getting to know people of different cultures , but still , its very unstable .

We arrived to UAE two days ago , had a meeting in Abu Dhabi , stayed in it for the whole two days . the city is nice , a lot of towers , wide streets , many of you are probably familiar with that city style , yet it misses the coziness I simply love in Amman.
Anyway , for the past two nights , after finishing with our business meetings , we went on walks in the city , and visited two of the pronounced malls , however each time , I reach when its almost the closing time , so I did not get to do any shopping , which is somehow better for my pockets !

Right now I’m in the Dubai’s airport , thinking to check the duty free after finishing this post .
I have not blogged for a while , neither checked any of my favorite blogs , its just that one becomes anti-laptop when you connect the laptop to work all the time. So usually , the free hours you get are spent somewhere away from the work tools .. anyone can get my idea here ?

Anyhow , I guess I’ll finish here and call it a post . gotta run and check the duty free before the take off :).

Blogging from .. Lahore Airport

2007-04-13T11:38:00.000+03:00

I wrote this post about two weeks ago , did not have the chance to blog it earlier though .. here you go :).

"I am not kidding , I am actually sitting here at Lahore’s Airport , its 07:44 A.M. Lahore local time . we are flying back to Amman with a stop over in Dubai on Emirates Airlines , we still have slightly over an hour for our flight to take off. We just had some local cappuccinos along with two chunky kitkat bars as our breakfast .
I am thinking how boring my life would’ve been at this moment without technology, having my mp3 playing songs in my ears , while I am typing those words.

So , the question I’ll be faced with once I am back to Amman ( which by the way I miss SO MUCH, an overwhelming feeling of missing has been dominating me all through this trip , as if I am light years away from my family and the surroundings I am familiar with. This was not the case with other trips , but maybe , since I am way far from home , I just cannot seem to come over this feeling.

My trip started about a week ago , flying from Amman , to Dubai , where I spent few hours in it , headed to one mall (City center) , then back to the airport to continue flying to Lahore-Pakistan . I had this anxiety which is a part of my traveling routine every time I go somewhere new , but this time . It was even more , since it was to a totally different type of country . I was full of worries and expectations during my way to there, which took me almost a whole day of traveling.

We arrived at Lahore that day , early morning , around 03:00 a.m. , city was calm , yet not totally a sleep , you could see cars . bikes and motor cycles in the streets. The next days we spent in business meetings , extensive ones , we did not get to make any site seeing. I was only able to see the city from behind the car windows. A city that is heavily populated , streets are dirty and chaotic , polluted heavy weather , many shacks, lots of Reksha cars and trash is everywhere . yet , despite all of that , the city is full of trees – which I think it would died without, with all of this pollution in the air - and they has nice looking houses , also some nicely shaped neighborhoods .

As I said the air is heavy and still , shaded in white , its partly humidity , but most of it goes back to the fact that their main fuel for cars and vehicles is gas and diesel instead petrol. Which trashes the air with this white nasty shadow, along with that killer odder it vents along.

The Pakistani people are nice , modest , and very simple. Every time we went to a meeting , someone would jump and ask “ is this your first time in Pakistan , I’d go ; YES ! then they’d ask , how do you find Pakistan so far ? and I’d go , its .. ummm… well .. interesting ! “ the truth is , I did not like it here, its a bit rough living for me , but , I was surprised with few things over here . one of them is the motor way between Lahore and Islamabad , very modern , nice rests along the way , and green is everywhere.
To conclude , I’d say it was quite an adventure to go there , I still have many quirks that I think I should write about one day . but lets leave that for another time. "

Blogging from .. Beirut !

2007-03-22T00:36:00.000+02:00

Country : Lebanon – Beirut.
Blogging from : the Hotel Room .
Time : Almost midnight.

This past two weeks were out of my usual serene calm world I’ve always knew, mostly loud , hectic and so little rest or sleep.

I have arrived from Cairo on Friday, spent Tuesday in Damascus for two business meetings, and right now , I am in Beirut !!!!

I still cannot believe that all of this moving around is real. Me being in three different countries, in less than one week! Actually, if I extended the week into ten days , then they’ll be five countries !

I am suffering sleep deprivation, ongoing stress, God knows how many deadlines have to be met and follow up actions required , however the worst part of all is I barely see my family or my friends , I feel totally disconnected from the life I know . however , along with all of the above , a part of me is enjoying the adventure that comes with being in a different place every now and then .

The flight was quick and smooth; my neighbor was a Lebanese man, offering free information about Lebanon. I was planning to take a short nap during the flight, however, with the ongoing shouts & giggles of the young passengers sitting in front of me, and my friendly and talkative neighbor , my nap plan went down the drain.

I am supposed to wake up early tomorrow, we have one meeting , and then we are catching the afternoon flight back to Amman , which wont give us any chance to tour around . to tell you the truth I kind of hope to miss the afternoon plane and go for the night plane , to look around during the evening, but the idea of rolling my bag in the streets of Beirut is a bit unpleasant . I kind of feel disappointed a bit , thinking that I am in here Beirut , yet unable to see any of its places. But I guess I will have to come back on a vacation sometime.

I am starting to see numbers and pillows flying around the room , a side effect of sleep deprivation and a clear sign that tells me its time to sleep . So , I’ll hit the bed , and I shall be posting updates soon.

On the run..

2007-03-19T00:06:00.000+02:00

In less than one month, I had two trips to Cairo, but this time it lasted longer, a whole week spent in the city that knows no sleep nor rest . I guess being alert, workaholic and always ready for more work is a part of the genetic composition of the people of Cairo!

This time , I had to go to Cairo alone , and meet up with a colleague coming on another trip from a different destination. My flight was okay , it takes less than an hour to fly from Amman to Cairo , and between elevating and landing with the snack in between , one can hardly feel the time. One cool thing happened to me this time , was meeting an old friend from university days whom I haven't seen since graduation , it was a lot of fun to catch up with him about life and everybody's news . I am always hit by this refreshing wave whenever I meet someone that I used to know from university days and have not seen for a while ! its always fun to catch up about others news , and know which docks their life boat sailed them to .

This time , I got to see the day life of Cairo , the days were extremely busy , leaving hotel on a very early time , to catch up a meeting or two in the smart village , which by the way one of the cleanest , most mordent places my eyes spotted in Cairo. Other than this , our attempts gone with the wind trying to reach any destination on time , the traffic in Cairo is a killer indeed , and this makes me wonder if any one keeps an appointment over there .

This time I was lucky enough to have a peaceful seal in the great river Nile. The sensation was unbelievable , to set in that boat , at night staring at Cairo lights all around , and enjoying the peaceful gentle movements of the boat , very relaxing , and I would guess romantic as well if the right people were around .

On my last day there , and after our final presentation , we went to pyramids . the site is magnificent , the enormous size of them , makes you wonder how could they build it , in the size of a mountain , rocks shaped equally and piled up in that pyramidal figure . I guess everyone had the same wondering , staring at the top of the biggest pyramid , perplexed with delusion of it moving forward the longer you stared at it . I've been always amazed by the pharos culture, and will always be.

I was finally free to do some shopping, after we got back to the hotel . Fighting the exhaustion and sleeplessness I had out of waking up early and sleeping fairly late , I decided that it was my only chance to check the modern Cairo and pay City Stars mall a visit. So I went there, on my own , was a bit freaked out about moving at night but then all went just fine , and on top of that I managed to buy two pieces that I can't wait to wear :) .

So , my next destination would be .. Syria , Lebanon , Pakistan , all of it .. I guess I’ll keep you updated !

Do you believe in signs?

2007-03-09T01:08:00.000+02:00

I am not really sure if I do. I had few incidents that made me stop believing in them, thinking that a decision or a feeling could possibly be taken or felt depending on random flying signs , that "happened to" match the mode of thinking you had for that period or day .

But how come that, sometimes, a thing happens that you don't give a lot of thought. And then, it happens again, so you pay attention to it. And then that thing forces itself to show up once more, so it finally attracts your attention and curiosity. And just like that, it gets a spot in your awareness of surroundings. And afterwards, the thing stops its pushiness into your life. So you wonder, but you do not over do it , until, it comes back, but this time with signs. All related to the subject of matter, but in different forms and three times in one day. Three very obvious and very subject related, where each sign feels as if it screams about its notion! Wouldn't that nock your mind off and make you think.. What does this mean?

So do I believe in signs ?! I don't know.. I am very tempted to, despite the fact how misleading they could be , I am attracted to the thought.
I guess , I'll be a better judge of that tomorrow , when the signs intensity demolishes , and things are normal again ..

Tagged by .. Nido :)

2007-03-06T23:54:00.000+02:00

So the tag this time includes more personal questions, but the type fun to answer...

* After you die (----) what's going to happen to your e-mail?
- Will die with me I suppose , I hope no one will peak on it , TOP SECRET contents .. lol !

* Have you ever given your password to anyone?
- Can't remember I did, but for work domain, yes of course ..

* What kind of a relationship you have with those?
- To give my work domain password .. They definitely have to be colleagues .

* Your name?
- Danah

* Your age?
- 26

* Your horoscope?
- Virgo.

* Education?
- Chemistry B Sc. , but my work is not related to my study AT ALL , I work in a sector related to technology and telecommunication.

* What kind of personality do you have?
- I am a clam person in general, and shy, however, with friends I get loud and fun, I love laughing. I hate hurting people's feelings and I myself can be hurt easily.

* Define traveling.
- I am not sure , every time I travel I gain an extra experience , but also , preparing for a trip kind of stresses me !

* What's your mood?
- Depends, I am usually an easy going person, but I have my bad "do not even dare talk to me" days ..

* What do you do in your spare time?
- Gym, friend's hangouts,sitting with family , reading, TV , internet , walks around the block.

* Favourite food?
- Mlokhiyeh , Beef Stroganoff , My mother's Chinese and pastries .. Actually ..Everything Mom makes.

* Things you inherited from your father?
- His good heart, love for knowledge, and occasional bad temper.

* Things you inherited from your mother?
- Her warmth, kind heart and innocence, and I hope her good cooking!

* 6 things you hate?
- here are they randomly : Deadlines and getting stressed about them , gaining weight and not being able to control it , dirty mouth people, liars and deceivers , a family obligation after a LONG day at work on a work night , me when I have the blues !

* 6 things you love?
- My family, my friends, my work (most of the time), my hair, my books and honesty .

* Define work.
- Although I whine about it sometimes, but since graduation (that is 5 years ago) I never stopped working.. I like to work , especially when challenging my capabilities. Things I always thought I'd never be able to do , yet I face it and do it .. Add to that traveling included .. lol

* Define computer and Internet.
- Without them a big part of my life won't exist.

Thanks nido :) .. that was a lovely break from serious posts ..

Dull philosophical thoughts

2007-02-25T23:26:00.000+02:00

How often do you say to yourself , when eating a delicious sweet in a pastries shop or a café , that if you owned this place you would never pass a day without having a piece of that delicious sweet you order almost every time you go into that café . Your tongue never gets tired of having the sugary taste sending pleasures of yummy signals to your brains making you feel all high and content? and then , here comes a time when you are there feeling like trying something different for a change , and suddenly , that pastries shop is out of all kinds but your sweet , but the problem is , you don't really feel like having it this time , yet you have it , simply because there is nothing else , it may still taste as good . But it also may taste less than usual , simply because you are out of options , and this is your only choice.

Same thing applies to life, whether it’s a person, a hobby or a job, whom or which you dearly care for and cherish, once you get over dosed with any of those, you probably will feel the need for some space, an open window where you can see another view , exhale some fresh air, and acknowledge the presence of other things in life other that what you have been destined to see for a good amount of time. Okay, I admit that I might have got carried away with trying to find resemblance between a piece of yummy pastry and other vital life issues, and I know that many wont probably agree with me putting people, hobbies and work all at the same rank, but maybe, if you looked at it from different angle and wear a different shoe – similar to mine - then maybe, you could see some rightness with my point of view ,( or it could be that I should find a better pair of shoes ! )

Do we hold affection for the people and devotion for the things we always cared for forever? Or do we pass through times where we loose that affection and devotion and feel surprisingly chocked with its magnitude? I mean, sometimes, caring for something or someone deeply and continually, can blind us from other things around us, especially if that thing or one is totally consuming, where you point all your efforts towards building, maintaining and keeping it. And it all evolves around it , where you have no choice to look for other "it(s)" around . But aren’t you entitled for a break? Where you can recover your breath, and forget all about forcing your whole-self to one thing? or does this analogy sound vague and a bit selfish ? I cannot quite decide.

I don't know, this could be a late night hallucination, a dull philosophical random thoughts, or a side effect of excessive and long work hours , that I might feel like crossing once I sober of this weird phase I am going through. But it does feel good to spill few thoughts out, I have not done it for a while, and now I can feel all good and comfy for letting out those cranky thoughts out of my head.

Thoughts on Cairo Trip ..

2007-02-14T11:47:00.000+02:00

"First , a little note , I would like to thank you all for dropping by my blog , and asking about me , I am fine , and I miss all of you , and I miss reading and communicating with you and commenting on those thoughts you leave on your blog sites . My “lame” excuse is work, and I think this will last for a while. But hopefully, I will manage to escape the load every now and then ( like today) and post something and check some blogs . Also , I would like to post a special thanks to the caller (Rasha ) for her kind idea of meeting while I am in Cairo , which unfortunately did not work out , due to the short time , however , I hope it will work out in the coming trips , inshallah :). "

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“Its way after midnight , and I am sitting on my bed in my hotel room , I can hardly keep my eyes open , or my lips from drawing that content smile on my face . Today was our final full day here in Cairo, tomorrow, we will be heading back to Amman, and despite the fact that those past three days and half were
extremely loaded with work , yet , I had a tiny chance to check out some parts of Cairo , mostly being in the car moving from one place to another , but I had a chance to go and set at Alfishwaie coffee place . One idea was running in my mind the whole time that I should come back here, for a vacation. I simply envy the people of Egypt on their transparent funny lovable spirit. You simply cannot feel anything for them except love them, and feel like coming back, despite the huge traffic problem they have, but that is a minor reason that wont stop me from going there again, since everything there makes me feel like coming back.
I can hardly keep my eyes open, I should get some sleep and I’ll write more later

That was one of those random diary style paragraphs that I typed during my stay in Cairo. It’s been almost a week now since I got back. Still, I carry the memory of that short trip with me. We headed to Cairo Airport last Saturday, that’s about ten days ago, and the overall feeling I had back then was being anxious and worrying about several business meetings I planned and wished that will go just fine , having some management personnel with me , made me stress over the visit , because I wanted things to go perfect . However, the minute we landed, and headed to our hotel , things started to feel good .

The three days we spent where full in exhibition (Cairo ICT) activities from early morning till around 8 p.m. at night , but it gave me a slight idea of a country I’ve never been to before , yet always dreamed of visiting ever since I was a little kid , since I grew up reading for a lot of Egyptian authors, in so many parts of literature , like Najib Mahfouz, Yousef Alsebaei, Ihssan Abdalqouddous , the series of Rajol almosta7eel , Malaf almostaqbal and ma wara2 altabee3a , add to that “alghaz, which where very popular when I was a kind and teenager “, so it was always a dream to pass by and be around places like Helioplois , Maadi , Down town Cairo , Khan alkhalili , Alqobba square (Midan 7adae’q Alqobba) , the river Nile, pyramids ( I only saw them from a distance , but I will come back for all the Pharaoh ruins again ) as well as the Smart city (very neat !!!) And many other places.. Everything was so lovely in a dreamy way. I did not get to shop though, only passed for a fast food pickup , by a big mall called city stars , but there was no time at all for shopping .

I met wonderful people during this trip, the partners who has hosted us, there is always something nice in meeting someone you always knew through the phone for business, and then meeting him/her for real . You have already broke some of the ice , having dealt before , but the actual meeting always add to the relation and strengthen it in a good way .
The Egyptians are definitely a warm nation, loving and always open for guests. and I also came to knew they have a big thing for the Levant people “ahel Belad elsham” .. lol:). Its funny when dialects between us cross, and we start trying to explain what do we meant by this or that. But also, I have learned that Egyptians are workaholics! most of whom I met , worked day and night , and saw their families during weekends only . Or this might be restricted to the sector that I am in , which has to do with telecommunication and IT .

All in all , I am planning to visit it again inshallah , if things went fine with business , then there is a good chance to have another short business trip , but I have already set my mind to come again for vacation , tour around , and enjoy the lovely spirit of that ancient country .

Going to Cairo ..

2007-02-02T23:38:00.000+02:00

I have finished packing my suitcase a while ago. I tried to limit myself with cloths I am taking, but winter cloths are heavy! and I am trying to imagine how am I going to handle my suitcase , my purse , the laptop and the brochures bag . Use your fertile imagination to picture a tiny person buried under all of those bags and struggling her way to the checkout point!

So, why Cairo ? It's definitely not for leisure (I wish if it was though), it’s a business trip, and the schedule so far seems loaded. I will spare you the headache I am living lately, and wont blabber about the goals and the preparations for this visit, however part of it will be exhibiting our products in Cairo ICT. I still hope that we'll have sometime to tour around and see some of Cairo's features; it would be such a pity to reach it and not visit its famous places.

I just wish if I don't worry this much when traveling is involved in any plan. I think I have some sort of a pre-traveling phobia. My mother traveled today to visit her hometown , tomorrow's morning it will be me , and around noon time my brother will also take off to another destination . I know this is normal in many houses around this glob, but it feels a bit new to our house, to have three members out of country, leaving the other three handling their business on their own.

I am scheduled to be back by Wednesday, and as weather news says, snow is expected in Amman that day. I have this tiny evil wish that it would snow after I arrive, so that I won't have to go to work the very next day, because we have another business trip scheduled to Damascus, and I feel exhausted already by the mere reminder of it!

Being a regular .. or too much of a regular ?

2007-01-27T01:39:00.000+02:00

I like going out, trying new places, having hot steamy drinks and chocolate rich cookies in winter time. And sometimes, when I get so comfortable with a place, I rank it as a favorite, and I become a regular customer there . It feels good to be a regular at some place, because you make sure that, the staff will welcome you, take care of you , finds you a table , and pamper you with their service , and it also feels good to feel familiar with the place and the other regular customers around . But, when does regular get to be too much?

This evening, I was out with a good friend of mine. It's been a while sine we met, just the two of us, and exchanged latest news on all levels. I just love my meetings with her, because no matter how long it was since our last meeting, no ice ever builds up, and we easily go into conversation. So, today we hit one of our favorite coffee bars, asked for our coffees, and then had a seat and started chatting.

The staff has been joyful and helpful , and we usually smile back , and act nice , yet , the idea of joking and exchanging conversation does not appeal to me very much , I like to keep things semi-formal ,not too stiff , and not too friendly, just friendly and nice but in a formal way.

Anyway, so we decided to change our table into another more comfy table that others were occupying and just left, so we moved and waited for someone to come and pick up the latter group mugs, but no one came, I guess because no one noticed the table exchange. So I thought, I'd go and ask someone to come and pick them up (it's not very pleasant to be sitting with others leftovers, even if it was coffee mugs!). So I went and asked for some of the staff's help, and there were they all standing, grinning, and trying to be "overly cute" joking with me saying "Why don't you pick it up?" . At that moment, I was not sure how should I react, to frown or smile yellowish-ly , but I was not very comfortable with that remark . I simply turned on my heels and headed back to my table with no more words. After a minute, one of the staff came to our table to pick up the mugs, apologizing and saying they were just kidding, and they always joke with their regular customers. I couldn't help it to let him know that this kind of joking was neither pleasant nor funny. He apologized again, and after a short while , we were sent complimentary coffee ,on the house.

That coffee bar is still one of my favorites, for many reasons, regardless this tiny situation. But, was I right in showing my annoyance? Is it okay when people of the staff cut that line and start acting like old friends? Well, the only thing I know, their apology gesture was kind, I would still go there, but maybe I should shift towards more formal way in conversing!

Shooting star .. self journal

2007-01-26T01:16:00.000+02:00

Too many things are taking place lately at my work, lots of work load, and I am still trying to squeeze it all in those 8 hours, without any success, to end up working for 10 and 12 hrs sometimes.

I almost forgot how does it feel to be free of all work obligations, and to be at home , wearing something comfy , a PJ or a training suite , with soft slippers in my feet , wearing my glasses on instead of those annoying contact lenses scrunching my eyeballs warping my hands around my big hot mug of green tea , seeking serenity and warmth . And enjoying that soft track for Corrine Bailey Rae singing in the background :

"Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Honour to love you ….."

And no, I am far far far away from falling for any "star". My star is still wondering somewhere in that endless glamorous space. I simply happen to find the song soothing and romantic , and the words seem are easy to murmur ..

This does look like another self journal post, though I just cannot resist it. It's been a long tiring energy consuming week, and the hardest is yet to come...

And Corrine is still singing:

"I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
To anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind.. "

Morning race ... RUN !!!!!!

2007-01-16T09:32:00.000+02:00

You open your eyes slowly, letting the sunshine penetrate into you. You're feeling extra comfy this morning. And while you are still enjoying the warmth while tucked in under those warm sheets, stretching your arm to the table next to your bed, grabbing your mobile to check on time, and then as if a bee has just stung you, you jump out of your bed, you are LATE!!!!!!!!!

So, you have over slept, snoozed your mobile's alarm several times , and when you finally decided to wake up , its just late , you have about 20 minutes to get dressed , have breakfast , and then 5 minutes to fly to work . You discover that you can, go to toilet, iron and slip into your cloths, do your hair, grab your breakfast, and brush your teeth in 20 minutes. And then you run to the garage storming out with your car.

Great !!! traffic today is working against you , everybody seems to be taking a pleasant "drive" this morning , doing some sight-seeing in their way to work , and not going over 30km/hr. and you are trying to by pass them , but it is a bit hard . Your first traffic light, and the line of cars is WAY too long , and you start thinking that they should find a solution for this annoying daily jam on that traffic , and you start day dreaming that your car will convert to a grindizer , and start jumping between cars or flying in the sky to reach work , and you smile with frustration at the thought.

You have less than 5 minutes left! So traffic light is green, Thanks God!! and you think that your way will be open above that bridge , and you'll sprint between cars , to be stopped by big trucks this time , where the hell did they came from !!!! Aren't those huge vehicles supposed to stay parked until evening time! So, you are slowed down again , day dreaming again , about having a huge car with rubber side contours to push other cars from your way , just like that car game you used to play in the entertainment park when you were a kid. Back to reality and start trying to maneuver your way to by pass those monstrous vehicles , and racing with time .

And you finally there, one minute late, its an achievement!!! To be at work after 25 minutes from your wake up time and still manage not to look as if you jumped out of bed to your desk .

Time to relax, have your morning Nescafe, and making another promise to yourself, you will never wake up late .. again !

5 Things that you may (not) be very interested to know about me ..

2007-01-15T11:00:00.000+02:00

I have been away from blogging and blogs for a while now, I am not able to read my favorite , regular blogs , nor check on them . you will have to excuse me guys for that , I really miss reading it all and catching up with every blog, but I might still need more time . add to that , I haven't been posting anything for sometime. It happens I guess .

So, I've been tagged twice, first time by Summer and second time by Tamara , to tell five things about me that you do not know ..

Hmmm.. this should be easy , since technically , no one reads for me knows me personally , well , okay , some might know me from work , and some might be my friends in real life , but the majority , do not know me in person . So, let's see:

1. I am intimidated by public speaking, especially in front of a group that is over 6 people of total strangers! I fear it to the maximum limits! I once had this workshop, the group consisted of 20 people and the workshop lasted for 2 days, one exercise was to stand in front of the U-shaped table and explain something on the white board. I was fine, until I realized that I'll be speaking in a loud voice in front of twenty something people whom I've just met! And, I'll spare you the details of my utter embarrassment, or I might just share it in another post one day!

2. Everybody seemed to mention the food and fruits they hate, and my share of that would be Eggplants and Guava, still, I like Baba ghanouj and Guava juice! And since we are still on food, I eat "7elbeh" and I do not find it gross! I bit many people will find this weird , most people I know hates it !

3. When I become passionate about something or someone, I just become "passionate" and I give it all my energies and resources, because I end up believing in this something or someone, but the bad part about that is, I am never patient enough to wait for results, I always unconsciously demand or expect fast results, whether at work on in my life, and I have to admit, that one should be patient and sometimes I lack this asset.

4. I am a hopeless case when it comes to singing a song with the its right words ! I can mumble my lips with what seems like its words, I could get a couple of words right, but the actual lyrics, never. And I'd end up making up a word to fit in instead of the real one, and sometimes a whole line ..

5. I over analyze things, and I am "the mother of assumptions" as a dear friend of mine calls me. There are things or situations that I would go over and over and over in my mind to an exhausting limit (makes me sound paranoid .. eah!) I assume all the time, and the annoying part is that; I believe my assumptions! And adjust myself to them before even the situation happens, very bad.. Yeah I know..

So, here I have shared a piece of my personality, not very cute, but true. And look at that , I thought I had nothing to write about , and I ended up with a medium sized post !

I will leave the tagging chain end here on this part though :) .. But whomever feels like sharing their "private 5 things", is always welcome to write them down.

Mumbles and inside wonders

2007-01-03T00:04:00.000+02:00

How often do we mean the things we say?

How often do we mean it when we say to a friend or a close one that I'll be there for you in anytime and in any situation and we are THERE for them when they need us?

How often do we think that old flames of affection for people whom we've grown fond of will remain and stay the same or even ignite as time passes?

How often do we mean it when we say to someone we miss them, and when they say it back, do they really mean it? Then why is it we don't hear from them, unless if we picked the phone and dialed their numbers?

And how come "love" is a word that can be thrown on someone's ear, that in a matter of years it vanishes as if it never been pointed to our hearts , and they are strangers in the street?

And how many times we thought of a person as a friend, that we'll depend on his/her unquestioned and ongoing support and love, to find that years will steal those precious friendship senses of the relation, leave it all formal and dry?

How often we build dreams and wishes on imaginary basis, and then fall into our delusional illusions , to be shaken up later from those dreams and fall into the street of real life?

How often our sweetest memories of different intervals of life shape up our relations to some people , and as we think it will remain and sustain it forever , we get smacked by the one and only truth that nothing remains the same , even the best of relations ?

Is it that we love our past more than present? Is it that we "imagine" that those were a better days and yesterday is a day we lost and can never get back? Then why do we run for our future? Because it will be a past one day?

Who does even care …

A warm winter night spent with "Sho Hal-iyyam" ..

2006-12-29T01:37:00.000+02:00

My friend called me this evening asking me if I was free to hang out. Its been a while since the two of us went out for a cup of coffee with warm cozy chit chat. And as we were wondering about where to go, she mentioned a concert being held in the Terrasanta schools theater later this evening for a local band called "Sho Hal iyyam" . I paused a bit when she said the name trying to remember where have I heard it before , and then it came back to me that few weeks ago , as I was skimming the newspaper , I saw a half page article talking about this freshly formed band , which consists of six members. I remembered that the review was praising their performance in a newly opened coffee place in Amman down town. So I thought, what the heck, lets go and hear them out!

My friend picked me up, and we were in Alwaibdeh area, where Terrasanta School is, before the concert time with ten minutes. I love the area there, there is this unexplainable passion and coziness in the old parts of Amman like Alwaibdeh , Jabal Amman and some parts of down town . That made me remember a funny remark of someone I know "Those places are sexy somehow"! and despite the fact that I was not able to relate to that , the comment blinks in my mind , every time I pass by them.

The whole event was organized by Arab Group For the protection Of Nature, where the funds raised from tickets will go to implant olive trees in Palestine and Jordan. Around 7:30 the theater was full , and after a couple of speeches from organizers , the band started , and I should say , it was one of the nicest , loveliest little concerts I've ever been to. The band consists of 2 ladies with lovely heavenly voices and 5 talented guys playing different cords based instruments, such as O'oud , guitar and Bouzoq in addition to Daff . They played and sang a collection of heart warming oldies, by Fairouz, Marcel Khalifeh , Shei7' Imam and Ziad Rahbani , such as , "Zouroni kol sana marra" "elba7r beyed7ak leah" "Inni i7'tartoka ya wa6ani" "sho hal iyyam". The theater was really cold, yet their lovely voices with that touchy play of instruments, and down to earth performance and attitude warmed everyone's hearts. And with every song performed, applause went on and on. It's really lovely to hear such a local young band, with beautiful voices and talents like that singing respectful, patriotic and romantic songs. I enjoyed every moment I spent there. And I encourage anyone to hear them out in any upcoming performance for them.

Random thoughts .. Piece of my journal

2006-12-27T10:26:00.000+02:00

It has been a while since the last time I posted anything. I can't really think of anything specific to write about, other than the fact that the last couple of weeks passed way too fast and were kind of loaded, I managed to have 4 days away from work though, taking a day off between Christmas holiday and weekend. I was kind of forced into taking that day off , since the HR announced , that any left over vacation since 2005 should be taken , otherwise , they will be gone with the wind the moment 2007 starts ! And since I am the type of person, who does not know how to take random days off – call me crazy, but seriously, I don't feel a vacation is worthy, unless well planned to be spent somewhere else ! – So I still had a couple of days from the year 2005.

I spent a whole four days away from work stress , did not even dare to check my work email , since I did not want anything to disturb this inner peace I was feeling , being totally relaxed , away from stress , numbers , figures , proposals to be prepared , purchase orders to wait for , reports before the end of the year , customers queries to be answered , excuses to be made for out of hand delays and staying late to finish pending issues and going over it with the manager. So I had a nice little vacation , went shopping a bit , watched TV , read a bit , worked out , went in family visits and of course slept as much as I can .

I got back to work yesterday, and I feel that I am kind of being punished for having that day off, because of the amount of work that should be finished now! I was planning to take Thursday off too, now I am not quiet sure if this will work out, I need to be done with so many things. Everybody wants to close this year, wrap things up, calculate budgets for next year and start fresh and clean in 2007 .And you know something; I still find it weird that 7 years have passed since the starter of the new millennium, time passes REALLY fast.

That was random diary type post, its probably boring, but who said diaries should always be interesting to read !

Enjoy the rain.. I think I have to go back to work and I'll plug my headphones , listen to some Arabic oldies , they always work perfectly with rainy weather .. don't you think so ?

Fairooz & I ..

2006-12-16T01:42:00.000+02:00

I don't know what is it with me and Fairooz , it doesn't matter where , what or when .. but whenever I hear any of her innocent romantic love songs , I just melt away with the rhythm , while her voice awakens those tender hidden feelings in my heart . I simply live the words in a world of dreams, it just sinks in me, deep down , knocking on a seemingly hollow sleepy heart . and then it pounds and yearns for a mysterious love and an unknown passion . My eyes shed tears, and my mind visualizes pictures and scenes of her words creation. And in winter, it gets even worse, as if her songs are MADE for it, it just fits those cold long nights, those foggy grey rainy mornings, and lonely hearts ..

I wish I knew how to post a song , but I'll leave you with links for some of my favorites of hers ..

2adaysh kan fi nas

layali elshemal

Kenna netla2a

Allah Ma3ak ya hawana

Questions ..

2006-12-16T01:29:00.000+02:00

I just cannot understand what's going on in Palestine anymore.. why? Why is this chaos taking place? Why is everybody throwing accusation on the other's shoulders? Why is everyone trying to show the ugly part of the other? Why have they diverted from the one basic and original cause which standing one against occupation, to self and political wins matters? Why all of the sudden killing of other's children is a tool to punish a person who is a parent before being a person holding any political position or being in authority ? What by Allah's name justifies the civil war Palestinians are being driven into? And the most important question is.. Who is the beneficiary?

It surely can't be any of the Palestinian parties involved, because if they think they do, then struggle is surely doomed...

A day in Damascus ..

2006-12-12T23:04:00.000+02:00

Yesterday's afternoon :
-G.M. : Tealover, we have an appointment tomorrow at Damascus , noon time .with a key customer to conduct a presentation of some of our solutions . You are among the team going, be ready .
-Me (Tealover) : Oh ! what! okay!

So , today , I had to wake up early , had breakfast , dressed up , put my high heals boots on (and that was a mistake , I should've gone in tennis shoes !!!) , and was ready at the premises by 8 sharp ! .. Well almost sharp..

It was three of us , and the plan was to go , conduct the presentation and come right back. Boarders were empty , it was really cold , and the horizon was misty , by the time we arrived to Damascus around noon , the atmosphere around looked grey and dirty . Not sure if it was pollution, weather or the effect of both.

After the presentation, we decided to head towards Hamediyeh , and female readers , can imagine how nice and comfy is it to walk it with 7 cm high heals ! Anyway, we went to a restaurant in one of those aisles that one of the colleagues recommended, it was okay. Then headed back to Hamediyeh , and in our way passed by Bikdash , my colleagues had some , I had none , I don't rally like it , and I can't quiet get what people finds in it ! After that , we moved on in our way , all the way back to our car , and headed for Amman. A stop over by the Syrian duty free was a must. Then we headed back to Amman, was there by 9 p.m.

A funny thing that caught my eye at the Syrian boarders, was this sign that was saying in Passports, Private with the women, and that translated to
استلام الجوازات, خاص بالنساء … I wish I could capture it , but it was a bit risky at the boarders building!

Anyway, its good to be back to the warm home again ..

Syrian Candy box

Souq

Shanglish

Where we had lunch

From the car

Inside Hamedieyh

A tribute to ....... Nablus

2006-12-10T23:36:00.000+02:00

Usually, when someone starts talking about where they have descended from, and which village, town or city they originated from, people around them, whether colleagues, friends, or in-laws may mistake it for either disloyalty for where they have been living for the past decades of their lives. , or simply, for a show off display.

However, the thing is, that we as humans tend to belong to a place, a home, something that we feel solidly hugged and immersed within, the question is, could it be more than one place? I believe, yes, it could be.

It’s a known fact that the population of this beautiful country, come from both sides of the river, we have both shared the resources and elevated up with everything that this generous land offered. And there is no doubt and no question to any of that. However, our hearts are divided in between. I have lived almost my whole life here , I've grown up here , had my full education here , have friends allover , know the streets of Amman like the back of my hand . Yet, I have this warm affection for my home town "Nablus".

Why am I bringing this up? Who cares about my home town? Who cares what do I feel for it, or in which way do I long for walking in its streets? For having some khdoud elset "whish is a yummy type of sweets prepared in Nablus, I prefer it even better than Kunafeh!" There is a good chance, no one will care. But that's okay, I simply felt this desire to type down few lines about it, and send it a tribute through them.

What has triggered it then? It could be those family chats about the old times, the way brothers gathered their families, having all cousins growing up under the same roof, knowing each others like siblings do. Those naughty funny stories of uncles and aunties deeds as kids, those richly colored memories with the taste and smell of the places they speak of , those pure little love stories , or even traditional marriage stories " they still had so many funny details within", it could be anything.

The truth is , as I'm typing these lines , I can picture myself , sitting on the garden's stairs on my grandparent house , overlooking the E'bal mountain ""عيبال , then walking down the street , all the way to the old town , smelling that roaster store on the way , entering those rocky aisles of the old city , celebrating my visuals with the ancient look of those stores going back to hundreds of years , hearing the old strong unique accent of my people blabbering . Passing by the spices merchants, and the soap factories, smelling that unique aroma for the Nabulsi soap. Heading towards Khan , buying some halaweh and Zalabiyeh " another Nabulsi sweet" and then going through the old neighborhoods , and all the way to the famous centre with the clock.

I can keep on talking about my childhood and teenage years memories there , and take you into a journey. But I think , this will probably need another post .

And to those whom are away from their hometowns, regardless which hometown they came from, I hope you'll be able to visit it again and celebrate your memories within.

I love you ya Nablus .. ya Jabal Elnar ..

Random non-business thoughts on ICT forum

2006-12-07T23:32:00.000+02:00

I had an extremely busy week at work the past few days , and I've been cut out from the world of blogging for a while ,hopefully I'll be back to read my favorite blogs and post more thing now.

Exhibitions are usually boring, nerves burning and tiring by all means! having to stand up most of the time, being nice and talkative to people visiting, networking,on stand by mode for any one inspecting about the business line, to give a full detailed explanation for the really interested visitors, and even when the audience are out of the business scoop and end up to be random individuals looking for neat giveaways to take home and blabber about.

However, the Dead Sea ICT forum is more oriented and well organized to serve the genuinely interested individuals and companies in the information, communication and technology sectors.

I won't be diving into the technicalities and the agenda of sessions and discussions of the forum, nor the latest that has been officially announced or launched within, since I believe many other bloggers ((whom I have seen and recognized there, and to tell you the truth it was fun seeing them in real)) has already shared that with you in a very professional and elaborating form. I would only say that we have participated as partners with Int@j . After participating as delegates for the past years.

So, yesterday, I had to wake up early to take my time dressing up and attending the work before time to head afterwards with colleagues toward the Dead sea , convention palace.

The palace was crowded for sure; you would sense the business aura in the air, everybody pulling up the professional business looks and smiles, looking sleek and shiny. People were mingling, shaking hands, and business chatters all over the place.

I attended part of the conference opening, and then headed back to the booth, where we had a very busy, yet promising attendance.

After lunch, the session period started, and traffic on booths went down to minimum. However, the only session I attended was "Outsourcing Trends in the Region" which had a very interesting group of speakers and discussions .I would sum it up and say : people , outsourcing will be playing a part in the business process in this region in the coming few years !!

By the end of that session , I had no energy left to keep my eyes open , my feet were killing me for wearing the high heals for the whole day and standing up , climbing stairs , and my brains were about to explode after all of those business discussions during the day .

To conclude I would say All in all, it was good event to attend.

And … Its good to be back !

Answering the book TAG

2006-12-03T23:44:00.001+02:00

A new wave of tagging is hitting the blogsphere shore lately .

I've been tagged by my sweet humours fellow blogger Mala2e6 to answer a very nice and short tag .

So here I am responding to the TAG attack !

the tag rules says :

-Grab the book closest to you
-Open to page 123-Scroll down to the 5th sentence
-Post the text of next 3 sentences on your blog
-Name of the book and the author
-Tag 3 people

And here is the answer ..

القطن الفلسطيني انقطع بعد عقدين من الزمان , يوم جعل ظاهر العمر مدينة عكا كرسي حكمه في اواسط الأربعينات من القرن الثامن عشر , و أفلح , بمؤازرة ابراهيم الصباغ , مدير اعماله المالية و مستشاره السياسي منذ مدة مديدة , في ان يحل نفسه وسيطا بين

التجار الفرنسيين و تلك القرى اللتى تزرع القطن بين القرى الخاضعة لــه....ـ

اسم الكتاب : اعادة اكتشاف فلســطين - اهالي جبل نابلــس 1700-1900

اسم المؤلف : بشــارة دومـــاني

Tags goes to , and I am not sticking to 3 , because I thought it is such a nice easy task :

Tamara

Abdullah ( even though you don't have a blog )

Hareega

Qwaider

Sharifo

and Finally Dar (although you have such an interesting funny idea when it comes to books on your profile ;)

Anyone is more than welcome to answer the TAG on the comment section as well , it would be nice to know what do others read about .

And since Summer started this TAG , yet did not answer it , so here I am tagging you Summer !

**updated ** 7ala .. you are tagged :)

A piece of news ..

2006-12-03T22:26:00.000+02:00

- So .. what happened during the weekend ?

-- Oh .. well … I became a citizen on JP !

- No Kidding !!!!!!! ..

-- Oh Yeah !!!! .. check it out :) !

And just for the record.. I think this is the shortest post I've ever wrote.. Saving you from a long long wordy read :) !

Sho Zareef halZareef !

2006-12-01T01:40:00.000+02:00

Another loaded Thursday! I always thought Thursdays are supposed to be the lamest work days, everybody is usually mentally and emotionally prepared for the weekend. So by noon time, you'd find everyone wrapping up their pending work matters in an attempt to adjust into the "weekend mood" rather than the "work-holism mood" .

So today I had dinner plans with my friends, celebrating a birthday of one of them . And since we made it a habit to go out and try a new restaurant out each birthday . this birthday pick was the new Iranian/Persian restaurant "Zareef".

The place is located at Abdoun circle, occupying half a building of two stories "I think ! but who would really care about this piece of info. ! Anyway ..." .We arrived there after 8 . it was still empty by then .We climbed the stares to the 2nd floor where the better scene is . Our table was located next to the big windows overlooking the street and the shops across.

The general atmosphere of the place is cozy , and clean . Iranian music plays in the background , slightly dimmed lights , enhancing the coziness effect , not to darkness degree though ,I don't like places with minimal light , it always gives me the feeling that something creepy is going on , besides , eating would be such a hard task , considering the fact that you can barely see what's on your plate !

The menu had Iranian/Persian names with explanation of the content of each dish. We started with appetizers .Shami , which is very close to Koufta balls , along with some Nan Panir Sabzi , which is Iranian cheese , served with hot yummy bread , and some Kashk Badenjan , which is mainly fried eggplant topped with kashk , fried onions , mint & garlic.

Main dishes that we ordered were all about rice, meat and chicken. Rice is done in three different ways, either with saffron, vegetables or with Zereshk (some kind of sweet and sour dried fruit close to raisins). Persian food seemed a bit dry to us, since we are used to have rice with something to gravy/Vigi base to the side, We needed to moist our dishes so , each one of us ordered special Iranian yogurt to go with the dish. The food was good, the amount of rice was huge though.

I liked the place, the service was more than great and the prices are reasonable. Food wise , its okay , may be it lacks variety . but for rice lovers , I think it will be a perfect pick !

New policies..

2006-11-29T08:47:00.000+02:00

One of the things I liked most about my current work is, they never were critical about the time we arrive nor we leave. So if we are like half an hour late, it would be deducted from our lunch break time , which was half an hour anyway , or we can simply stay for another half an hour in the evening and compensate . So you may say, my colleagues and I , have been living in a work paradise when it came to times of arrival and departure..

However, as any company grows from small sized to medium sized enterprise, the number of employees has doubled if not tripled in the last couple of years , and the management sensed the need to organize things better , so new policies were set that we had to follow , and time of arrival and departure was no exception. So, a circular was sent to all employees, that from now on, we should be at premises by 8:00 and we are entitled with 15 minutes to be late, but exceeding that will be considered extremely late, hence, a warning will be sent!

Picture from gettyimages

So having in mind the past couple of years of tolerance and previous policies, the warning part did not really fit. So, on Sunday, I did not really make any special effort in trying to follow the new policy, since we had a lot of those for the past couple of years, and they went down with the drain. The employees in general thought they were immune to changes. So anyway , here I am getting 23 minutes late for work on Sunday , and performing my usual tasks , until I get that email around mid of the day , the email was simply a warning for my late arrival , and cc'd to concerned parts in the company ! Eah !!!!!! when I saw that , I had this hysterical laugh , thinking "Oh my God , they are not kidding !!! that was my first REAL warning ever in anything that I've ever been too, whether school , university or previous job" . I have to say , geeee .. it felt a bit humiliating !

Not wanting to have such a warning AGAIN , I decided that I should start getting up and starting my engines earlier than what I used to for the past years . The problem is , I am not a morning person mainly , I usually feel grumpy in the early mornings , but I guess , I will have to start changing that !

But that is not all.. There will be a completion for this stream of thoughts .. but I guess , I'll keep it for another post !

Perspective ??!?

2006-11-28T11:24:00.000+02:00

Is our perspective of people distorted?

What do you mean?

I mean , what are the elements that we take into our consideration on judging a person.

You mean like , honesty , morals , respect , intellectualism and things like that ?

Well, yeah ! Those are some elements, though definitions for these elements you mentioned differ from one person to another.

How! Those are general terms that we talk about!

Yes !!! And that's why I say, it differs from one person to another. a group of people may agree on a general definition , but each one of them may add their own personal ingredient to that .

Now you lost me, what do you mean?

I mean, the definition of, hmmm , lets say intellectualism . You may describe someone being intellectual , for knowing a good deal of information and details , in a particular or a number of subjects , say for instance ; literature , religion , politics , history , languages, sciences . There might be a general agreement on those lines of knowledge. Yet , there are people who consider not knowing about latest video clips, movies, series , world wide clothing brands is such an unforgivable crime !

Okay , that’s extreme ! But that’s a personal definition. The two groups you are describing, apparently have different orientations and perspective.

See, we are back to square one . How can we judge people? Say, you met someone, and he proposed, how you can tell that he applies for the definitions you have. What if he does not apply to your mental definitions, yet he applies to your heart definitions, what if it the other way around ?

Hmmm , I don't know .. but does this mean that you and all of your friends share the exact same orientation or perspective ? I don't think so , there should be variations .. otherwise , there will be no spicing in your relation , whether with your friends , or with your possible significant other .

Could be .. it’s a complicated subject ..

Well , not complicated ... but debatable!

*picture taken from gettyimages .

Eah , who said life is easy !

2006-11-27T09:19:00.000+02:00

Again , back with the challenges of work . Being put into course of competition against your will. Having to face indecent opponents at times, having to sail into the sea of career darkness and multi opportunities to prove yourself and capabilities AGAIN, after "thinking" you finished the "proving" phase you've been into the past years, someone snatch you and say "It has just started , the past few years were only the warming up part" to start again and allover showing your bosses AGAIN that you can handle pressure , you can handle changes in work atmosphere and you can pretty much elevate the career steps to reach one day, to the top.

But what if, you were happy where you are, just in that little cozy place you are filling? Those tasks you've mastered which you know that you kind of perfected performing them? And that everybody is pleased with their outcome. Why can't you just hang in there for the rest of your career life? Oh, well, its true, we all value and seek comfort , BUT .. But we all have those little devils of ambition inside us that aspire something bigger, something higher , something supposedly better ,something that tells the opponents and the colleagues that picking you was the best thing they did , something that shows everyone that you earned that promotion , although , you haven't really asked for it .

Now the horrific part is when, you want to show everyone that you can HNADLE IT, but inside you, you are not quiet sure what to do next. You are lost, you know that there is a lot of catch up to do, and you know that your guide is no longer available, you have been tossed into the boat to sail on your own this time , you are not allowed to show your growing fear or your mere reluctant-ness , because your competitors will smell it like sharks , and snap the whole thing out of your hands.

Eah , who said life is easy !

قصيدة من الماضي ...

2006-11-26T00:00:00.000+02:00

اذكر .. قبل سنين .. حينما كنت لا ازال طالبة في المدرسة .. اذكر انه كان للشعر طعم خاص ..الا ان ذاكرتي للقصائد اللتي كنت احفظها و ارددها حينها .. قد شابتها الشوائب .. و أغار عليها غبار السنين .. فلم اعد اذكر شيئا مما حفظته يوما ... .

لكن لست ادري لما ذا اليوم دونا عن كل الأيام تلمست الأبيات الأولى من هذه القصيدة طريقها لذاكرتي .. فوجدت نفسي ابحث عنها .. حتى وجدتها .

القصيدة للشاعر الفلسطيني عبد الرحيم محمود بعنوان "الشهيد ".. و ها هو نصها

ساحمل روحي على راحتي .... والقي بها في مهاوي الردى

فإما حياة تسر الصديق .... وإما ممات يغيظ العدى

ونفس الشريف لها غايتان .... ورود المنايا ونيل المنى

وما العيش لا عشت إن لم اكن .... فخوف الجناب حرام الحمى

إذا قلت اصغى لي العالمون .... ودوى مقالي بين الورى

لعمرك إني ارى مصرعي .... ولكن أغذ إليه الخطى

ارى مقتلي دون حقي السليب .... ودون بلادي هي المبتغى

يلذ لأذني سماع الصليل .... ويهيج نفسي مسيل الدما

وجسم تجندل فوق الهضاب .... تناوشه جارحات الفلا

فمنه نصيب لأسد السماء .... ومنه نصيب لأسد الثرى

كسا دمه الأرض بالأرجوان .... وأثقل بالعطر ريح الصبى

وعفر منه بهي الجبين .... ولكن عفارآ يزيد البها

وبان على شفتيه إبتسام .... معانيه هزء بهذي الدنا

ونام ليحلم حلم الخلود .... ويهنئ فيه بأحلى الرؤى

لعمرك هذا ممات الرجال ... ومن رام موتآ شريفآ فذا

فكيف اصطباري لكيد الحقود ... وكيف احتمالي لسوم الأذى

أخوفآ وعندي تهون الحياة ... وذلآ وإني لرب الإبا

بقلبي سأرمي وجوه العدا .... وقلبي حديد وناري لظى

وأحمي حياضي بحد الحسام .... فيعلم قومي بأني الفتى

Hot chocolate & Gerard ..

2006-11-24T02:15:00.000+02:00

So I've been blabbering about Gerard and its amazing hot chocolate with marshmallows for a while now.. and although I admitted in one of my comments, on Tamara's blog that I've been staying away from delicious food and chocolate for a while , trying to control my eating habits , which by the way have been drastically ruined during the past summer , Ramadan and the two weeks after Eid , yet , today the temptation was stronger than what I can handle !

After a long loaded Thursday , having to stay late at work , eating barely half a sandwich , I came back home , to go out within less than half an hour , to pick up my mother and sister. So in our way back , we were close to Abdoun , and that chocolate lover devil started whispering in my ears " Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows ... Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows … Gerard is less than 5 minutes away .. you can do it ..go .. go .. gooooo" so it took me like half a second to convince mom and sister .Actually it was effortless job, they said okay without having me to convince them into it, and we headed there , promised with the pleasures of chocolate taste in a winter cold night .

I thought it would be okay for me to order hot chocolate this time, since I did not had much food during the day, so I needed the sugar and the calories – you know.. In order to survive- and ordered my sweet hot drink. You can see the picture DOWN.

The place was full as usual, so I held my precious drink with both hands, and sat outside. It was a cold night, yet all my sensations were warming up with every sip I take of this heavenly sweet condensed drink, and my heart was dancing and bouncing to the flavor of every marshmallow piece melting on my tongue ... ahhhh .. SUPER!

And since I believe that such pleasures should be shared, I took few pictures while the lovely staff was preparing our orders. Now my favorite is the chocolate fountain they have, I swear to God that first time I saw it , I had that childish desire to stick a finger under the running chocolate "falls" and tasting it ,and went further in my dreams into filling a cup and drinking it right there . Does this sound normal , or do I sound like choc-psycho ?

Another picture for ice cream cones dipped with chocolate and nuts, I've always wanted to have one of those and fill it with 3 scoops of ice cream, but every time I get that thought, I bury it, knowing that I'll probably end up having to work out 3 days in row to burn it! I wish If I can be less freaked out about this calories- burning thing.. ah.. pity.. I envy people with high metabolism rates !

Last picture for ice cream flavors, whether its summer or winter, an ice cream is never too cold to have !

Enjoy the pictures..

Words that "rhyme" with winter ..

2006-11-18T17:00:00.000+02:00

Its not the type of rhyme in poems, its more like things and words that sound perfect with winter ,at least for me ! I know how many people hate this blissful season, I used to be one of them, back when I was at school and university! However.. Now I can hardly imagine myself living in a place that has no winter!

With no specific order , here are they ...

Warm family gatherings .. Warm friends gatherings.. Romance ..Cuddling .. intimacy ....Sipping Hot chocolate from a huge mug where both your hands are warming up by the hold of your mug ..Chocolate of all types … lots of tea .. American coffee.. Sa7lab.. Cinnamon hot drink 2erfeh " we call it Eainer " .. Lo2met el qadi "also known as 3awwameh" .. Cookies .. ma2routa .. chestnuts "kastana"

Soups "especially lentil soup ".. Heaters.. Fire places.. Reading lots of books and magazines.. Nice TV series and movies.. Walks under the rain .. Snowman.. snowballs.. Snow hikes.. Snow while it falls .. Heavy clothing .. Heavy elegant coats… waist length jackets with nice collar.. Less flesh showing " well some don't let cold weather stop them !" .. Trendy boots.. Scarves of all types .. heavy cologne .. play cards.. barjees "some know it as barzees ,and some don't even know it . For the last type , its an old traditional game played with special stones and a cloth where you have to move the stones " ..

Long nights where you can get enough sleep.. Fog "its almost like living on clouds" .. the lovely washed color and smell of horizon and sky after rain .. Napping in you balcony letting warm winter sun cover you "not for long time though, its harmful" .. better hair .. healthier skin .. Suspense and horror movies.. Romantic movies..

**Update ** Fairooz angelic voice in the early rainy and foggy mornings

These are some of the things that sounds Wintry to me.. And despite the fact that I freeze in cold weather , and that my hands never ever get warm .. Yet I am in love with this beautiful season ..

Share some of your thoughts if you felt like it ..

Is it a state of mind ?

2006-11-16T16:53:00.000+02:00

Sometimes you get so frustrated and depressed that you feel your stomach will blow out any minute because of stress building up inside.

It starts like little twitches in your stomach, that builds later to a huge invisible -yet felt- knot in the center of it, and on the way a little furnace in your lungs, that heats up your exhale every time you take and withdraw a breath . That later during the day, it becomes a noticeably annoying and effort-needed process to breathe.

And when that happens, you no longer feel like you can keep up the good, friendly behavior with people around and you no longer stand any out-of-line comments or words, nor you can tolerate people's "sense of humor" because you are totally out of mood. You hold your tongue and nerves a million times, so you wont jeopardize your "Calm friendly character" and spell out something that would hurt them , you wish if people understand but they wont, and You just want everyone around you to shut up, and leave you sink in your own puddle of frustration and depression .

You could've had worst days, yet you were able to handle them better, but there are other days that the smallest thing may trigger your frustration and pick it up to highest levels, where you no longer can take it. It could be a broken phone line, an undone business, a comment that you did not really need to hear, an answered phone, a hang out you prepared for yet it was last minute canceled, or simply waking up on the wrong side of the bed. It could be a million silly things that triggered that nasty feeling in you to invade your system like a wild wave.

And the worst part is that this "feeling" is usually an irreversible thing in a one day interval , I mean , you cannot just switch back to norm within same day , your system and body are simply too much infected with the poisons of your status of mind , that it will take a whole day to flush. So all you could wish for is , to have the day pass fast ,and to spend it away from others , or at least the way you want with the people you like, where you can start maintaining the damages , hoping that an overnight sleep will finish it and freshen you up again the next day .

Feel like having "Homemade chocolate cookies"?

2006-11-12T23:51:00.000+02:00

Okay , I felt totally unproductive during this long beautiful "on time" weekend , Its winter , its somehow cold , long nights , and chocolate always seems like a good companion to the previous , besides , my little brother was nagging me into making some , its been a WHILE since the last time . So I decided to make some chocolate chip cookies !

I am not going to write down the recipe, and that's not because it’s a TOP SECRET classified Danah's recipe , no no . Actually, the recipe is written right on the back of Hershey's chocolate chip semi sweet pack. I have made the recipe tens of times , and every time the out come is rich , sweet , chewy , and of course yummy yummy yummy .

I am probably stretching a muscle here :) , that's why I am posting the picture of my cookies creativity ! I wish if smell and taste could be transferred through blogs though , wouldn't this be neat !

One last thing , if you decided making some , don't make it a habit , these cookies are really rich in calories , lots of butter and sugar within , not to forget the chocolate chips .

Enjoy the looks :) , I guess I'll be taking some to my colleagues tomorrow !

YEPPPY!!! I am back :)

2006-11-09T23:38:00.000+02:00

Finally !!!! I can view my blog again , after having some technical problem for exactly one week , I can announce cheerfully that my blog is completely recovered . I can write and see my posts again :) !

I kind of lost hope that it will come back again , sending more than one email to the blogger support , getting one poor response , and seeing no action taken , put me down a bit , and I started thinking that I will probably have to stick to a new blog , and forget all about this one , which I like very much by the way , feels like a part of me. Oh well, I can get dramatic sometimes..

I never thought that I would get this much hooked into blogging , and to tell you the truth , when I started blogging , it took me some time to make it public and feel easy about that .Then it took me more time to start feeling "Normal and secured" about writing something down , knowing that anyone can access that and read it . It may sound a bit childish, but I always felt like "PREPARING" for my next post, sort of a homework thing - Oh yeah , can hear a snorts of laughter ! , that my fellow bloggers explains why I am such a lazy blogger , but anyway , I think I am somehow over that !

Well , I want to thank you all for you sweet support during my blog "crises", whether by offering help , or simply commenting and asking . And a special thanks to Qwaider , for his kind gesture , letting my posts appear fully on Qwaider Planet during the past week , thanks a bunch !

And the bad luck events series goes on ...

2006-11-07T16:34:00.000+02:00

This definitely cannot be my week , first my blog gets jinxed and is not viewing anymore , acting in a manner of a ghost blog rather than an ordinary one .. then , a business trip gets delayed after arranging reservations , buying tickets , confirming appointments , simply because the Visa to an Arab country will still take more time to be issued , and we were notified by that one day prior to the travel date .

And then , finally today , I am out on a short leave from work to get a present to a friend of mine , whom recently had a baby. And as I am on my way back to work , a monstrous Mercedes truck hits me and sabotages the far end of the left wing of my car , claiming he did not see me " a question popped into my mind , if he did not see me due to the fact that he is way high above the road in his giant truck , then does it justify mashing the other ordinary short cars driving on the road ?" , so I pulled to the side after hearing a loud noise ,in the back of my car , and took a look on the shocking accident.

I was too stunned and shaken to even say anything , then I started talking calmly , and dialed the traffic police number. Fortunately , and for the first time in my very short and small history with traffic policemen , the officer who answered my call , seemed to be having a pleasant day , he was speaking to me cheerfully , assuring me that the officers responsible for that area will arrive in less than ten minutes . Surprisingly, it took them lesser than that.

Of course, my parents came, and the officer who took record of the whole incident was very kind and cooperative, he took notes, and asked each of us of what has happened, and concluded that –obviously – it was not my fault .

So, somehow it ended well, yet that horrible urge to cry is still wandering in me. I need to vent out some of my personal frustration. It is frustrating to be in an accident, whether mild or huge, still the most important thing that neither me or the old driver of the truck had any injuries , Thank Allah.

Yet , I feel sorry and sad for my Toyota corolla , I kind of have this bond to my car , and what happened to it isn't pleasant by any means , and I wont probably be seeing it again until over a week or so .

El7amdolellah on everything ..

Trying something out

2006-11-07T10:37:00.000+02:00

Apparently .. I am stuck ! .. My original blog "Life has its mysteries ways " has been facing some technical problems , seems to be originated by blogger.com , in settling some issues regarding blogger Beta , they seem to screw up other things , so apparently , my blog is one of the victims . I have claimed my problem to their support team , received a reply and was assured that they will be taking care of it , however, it looks like it will take a while , since up to now , I have seen no change .. and I miss blogging there :( .. I feel a bit lost !

So , whats the story with this blog "Trying something out" ?!

I have created this new blog over a month ago . Basically ,I wanted to check what changes can I apply to my original "Life has its mysterious ways" template , once changing from normal blogger to blogger Beta , and i liked the outcome , which is why I decided to go for it , while keeping this other blog -I'd say trial lab blog- private , to see how any change I'd apply will look like .

So , for the main time , I'll be blogging temporarily here and there synchronizing the posts , until the problem is resolved and I get back to my home blog ..

Unable to view my own blogpage !

2006-11-05T12:17:00.000+02:00

Okay .. this is both weird and silly ! I can post and publish my post , I can modify , add tags and pictures , yet I cannot view my blog ! everytime I hit the address bar , I get an error message ! can yet the site feed seems to work fine ! Anyone help me with that ?

Rain .. Trip .. and other things

2006-11-05T09:55:00.000+02:00

Another Sunday after weekend, back to work Its a cold wet grey Sunday.Streets were crazy today's morning , jammed , cars swimming in rain filled streets to their destinations. I turned the radio on Mazaj .fm, I like the collection they play in rainy cloudy early mornings- I just love hearing it more than the talk shows - those old Lebanese –almost ballads – songs , some of them still loop in my head like " law shebakek 3ashebbaki " and " Aletli sho byelba2li , elazra2 aw zahr elromman , 7atta 3younak teshta2li , balbeslak a7la Foustan " and Fairouz with her angelic voice " Fi ahweh 3almafra2 " , they sink into me songs in rainy days , as if they were especially made for such days .

Anyway, it took me over half an hour to get to my work place, and apparently, I arrived late! It never feels good to arrive at work late after most of your colleagues and especially the managers. And it really sucks when you have already planned it the day before to come early, to finish few pending issues without everyone's hassle on early morning, and of course, and especially on the first day of the week When you get there and see the time , you realize the failure of your plan , you're already late !

But I ain't stressing about it, I don't want to .I have to save my nerves for a billion other things stress worthy, like preparing for my trip tomorrow.

Tomorrow's evening I'll be flying to Muscat-Oman on my first business trip. I am still behind schedule in having everything I need prepared , but I am counting on today to get it all covered up . I am excited because it’s the first trip with work. Yet anxious and worried because I need to be fully prepared , there is a good chance that many things will get defined after this trip , and I really don't want it to be defined the other way around , and of course I am speaking career-wise .

I am the type of person who worries a lot , no matter how I try to convince myself with the reality that nothing really worth all of this nerve burning , yet I just cannot help it .

I needed to write something down, I haven't blogged anything for a while , and it looks like there is something wrong with my blogspot, I haven't been able to view it for over four days now , so I am not quiet sure if this will get published on time ,but I needed to write it down anyway .

Wish me luck, and I shall update you with my trip events, if its possible from there or until I come back by Allah's will.

Blabber

2006-10-29T17:15:00.000+02:00

It’s the first working day after the long vacation of Eid. Surprisingly; I am fully alert and energized! I usually feel mushy after long vacations , more precisely , Eid vacations , because of the intense social activities -visiting and being visited- however, this time was a bit different , having the weekend coming right after Eid , was a good opportunity for relaxation and adjusting back to winter timing , winter weather and getting back to usual after Ramadan life style .

People in the streets seemed relaxed today too , regardless the traffic jam on my way to work today's morning , there were no horns pressing , no shouts and I can swear that I saw some people smiling behind their wheels " speaking of our traditional morning frown here in Jordan , today seemed to be an exception ! " .

I reached work around my usual time, greeted colleagues on my way to my office and then headed to kitchen – I simply like making my own drinks, I feel they taste better and they way I want them rather than having someone else making them for me - to make my long missed mug of hot Nescafe , added my Hazelnut flavored coffee creamer , started sipping it while scanning the stacked emails in my inbox.

They day has passed fast , having a long meeting , then following up with pending matters , I had more than one opportunity to stress about few "work stuff" , however, I passed them pleasantly and maintained my peaceful happy temper.

Yet ,something tells me that the coming days at work , are not going to be easy , many changes have been happening recently , blowing old traditions and messing things up , turning them upside down and I am the kind of person who dread changes , its not that I am not flexible , but I dread the side effects of changes , the unwanted results .

I guess this post is more of a blabber and sharing some inner confused thoughts, especially in the last part . I simply had this need to write something down, spilling out a peace of my mind.

Many returns .. Happy Eid

2006-10-23T03:00:00.000+03:00

Through out my life,I have always enjoyed Eid al fiter somewhat more than Eid Al Adha , while Adha is a true Eid for those who are lucky enough to perform the pilgrimage , Fiter is longed for by those who perform fasting of Ramadan , where the first morning of Eid elfiter always has this special taste to the soul and definitely to the tongue !

As a kid, I remember how I used to wake up in the early morning of the first day – actually being awaken by my parents – brushing the sleeplessness off my eyes, and then rush to the kitchen, smelling coffee in the air and then pausing for a moment, making sure its allowed now to drink and eat at day time, It was a bit confusing back then.. :) ..

Then I would go to the living room, checking on Eid cookies " Ka3k & Ma3moul" , and then checking for the REAL craving , the Eid chocolate , managing to slip few pieces of different tastes into my hands to enjoy eating them later .

Maybe, as little kids, we were able to touch the Eid spirit more than the present time, back then our biggest concerns were the Eidieh " Money gifts by parents and relatives" , the Eid presents "especially plastic and water guns. Anyone knows why?" and then visiting our favorite cousins to play around with while our parents chatter with their parents.

Now, however, our concerns are no longer as childish and limited as before, we as grownups are more aware of the world around us, whether locally, neighborly or internationally, we know that while we are celebrating the occasion, there are others whom are deprived of such right, whom face death and oppression on daily basis, and whom kid's biggest dream is being able to walk the neighborhood's street without being terrorized to step back inside their houses.

For those who are forced to miss the Eid spirit, May Allah bless you and grant you peace of mind, peace of land and security , where you should know , that even if we are "celebrating" the Eid , it will never taste festival nor happy until you can , one day be a part of it and taste it equally .

My warmest and deepest wishes of a happy Eid with many returns in Allah's will , with a free Palestine and a peaceful Iraq ..

A Glimpse from past ....

2006-10-12T12:30:00.000+03:00

Yesterday, I was looking forward for a lazy evening spending it at home , after being out for two iftars in row for the past two evenings and general lack of sleep , I felt energy consumed , and had nothing in mind other than relaxing . My mother though , had me an invitation to join her in one of the "ladies gatherings" for the old neighborhood , she brought up the matter in the sense of "its up to you " , but you could sense the " I'd like you to come" hidden between the words . The occasion of gathering was celebrating the birth of a child for a girl whom used to be one of my play mates as a kid ! I hesitated at first , then I thought , what the heck , it wont be hectic there , and its going to be a good chance to check on my old neighborhood and see my fully grownup play mate whom I haven't seen for probably over 10-12 years ! so , despite the fact that the whole gathering thing sounded to me of the "ladies thingy" or as we say in Arabic "Nasaweeni" , I decided to go !

We have moved out from that neighborhood about 13 years ago, I've passed by it several times , its not very much away from our residence now, but I haven't peeked on the street we used to live in for a while.
yesterday, when I drove up the street , everything felt smaller , the street itself, the buildings , and there was no more space land where we used to hang out as a little crowd – My brother , I and the whole neighborhood kids- instead , there was this huge residency building filling that small piece of land . the street was way too calm , no spirit ! I remember how we used to spend summer nights all gathered close to our house fence, chattering until we were almost dragged inside the houses by our mothers.

So, I parked the car, and went inside our old neighbor house accompanied by my mother . The visit was not bad at all, actually it was kind of fun, sitting with my old play mate and her sister was somehow refreshing. though I had some of those pause funny moments , where I was sitting , grinning and remembering how me and my play mate used to fool around with the rest of the kids about 14 years ago , she used to be a Tom boy , and I used to be a Tom boy wannabe :) , she oversized me , that’s why I always thought I was more delicate than she is and it took me an effort to prove that I can be a Tom boy too! she used to say "I'd never get married , marriage sucks !" and she is the one who got married first and now she's with a little sweet girl by her hand s!

Oh boy , we were happy children .

Answering a Tag "Childhood memories"

2006-10-12T10:59:00.000+03:00

I've been tagged by Qwaider few days ago to list my five favorite things that I miss mostly about my childhood , I have to say , I am still living it in many aspects , and it was not until recently , like two years ago , that I gave up on buying my Favorite comic magazine Mickey (Egyptian edition) , I still don't mind flipping the pages and having few innocent laughs though , if it ever dropped by my hands ! So, having your childish moments is a part of adulthood, one shouldn't forget how to be a child .

Here are my five favorite things that I miss mostly about my childhood, mentioned with no specific order :

1. Summer trips to home town Nablus ; almost every summer in the early years of my life , my mother used to take us , my brother and I -we used to be two back then ,- in a 2 weeks upto one month trip to Nablus , we used to split our nights between the two grandparents houses , we used to get special treat back then , spoiled up by our aunts and uncles , and we used to have the fun of our life playing all the time with our cousins , in the garden of the house , visiting the old town with my aunt and dropping by the soap factory with my mother .

2. My brother and I creative games ; we used to create our own games , we would see an action movie , then copy it out the next day , creeping between the chairs and sofa's with fake guns in our hands , chasing bad guys , and being chased with our mother to cool the game down ! we used to turn his room into tents and play voyagers & nomads . And we used to put spongy cubes up to the ceiling in my room and climb all the way up , to jump into a ground full of pillows and soft mattress ! I still wonder how we did not break a leg or a neck !

3.My old neighborhood, especially at Eid mornings ; after receiving the "Eidieh" , my brother and I used to go to the nearby supermarket , buy the fake guns , and join the gang in the bang bang !until we get drived away by our parents to go into thefamily visits routine of the Eid .

4.Spending Wednesdays evenings reading adventure books "known as Al3'az"; we used to have Thursday and Friday off back then as a weekend . so after coming back from school and having lunch , my mother used to drive me to the bookshop, where I'd buy a couple of adventure books along with Agatha Christy's adventure books , I used to be addicted to her style !

5.The ultimate belief that my parents are superhumans and that they have the answer for every little and big question that may occur to my mind.

My friends & I .. personal thought

2006-10-09T23:59:00.000+03:00

Today , was the big day for our annual Iftar gathering . We have made it a tradition since the second year in university that every Ramadan , no matter what , we would find the time to gather and meet for a pleasant iftar meal . Back then ,when we started it , we were still students, we had low budget to manage with , therefore, we had to stick to the fast meal restaurants , I remember our first iftar gathering was in Pizza Hut Abdoun , we were 9 girls , we had so much fun that day , and I remember how we went right after that to Tche Tche Abdoun , for coffees , teas and argeeleh . Tche Tche Abdoun is no longer there, I've passed by Abdoun circle a while ago , and the sign was no longer hanging there . It felt a bit weird, We had such sweet warm memories attached with that place that goes back to university days, I guess nothing stays the same , even places change .

As years passed, the group no longer had nine in it , it got lessen , some got married and traveled and some were swept away with life matters and sadly no longer kept the strings attached . Its really weird how this part happens, have you given it some thought on how close people can drift away ? Anyway, the core four of that group remained together, and followed the tradition in every Ramadan since the first time. And along the way , we gained new members to our group.

We were eagerly looking for the get together this year, because it has been a while since we've gathered all ,and got totally engaged in a cozy warm chatter , not worrying about anything else other that those few hours we had together . We all needed the escape into each others company .I was feeling extra relaxed today with my friends . I had such a good time , that at some point I wanted the time to freeze and let me feel this serenity with all my senses. I simply wish that we will be always able to continue with this sweet tradition , and we will always remain the best of friends , I love you girls .

Have you ever ?

2006-10-07T20:41:00.000+03:00

Have you ever had something in your mind and heart , that you wanted deeply , you've grew up believing that you can have it all , whatever your thought or dream was , there are no barriers to keep it away from you , its only a matter of time ,for there is nothing that cannot be done or fulfilled , have you ever felt that ?

Have you ever been in that state, where you were able to almost touch your dreams , taste their sweetness and live them vividly?

Have you ever felt like you could be chasing a shadow?

Have you ever felt like wanting something or someone bad, believing that this is all what you want and whom you want in every aspect you want, to realize that you're alone on that boat?

Have you thought of tomorrow always as a better day to come, but always woke up to taste the same bitterness of yesterday's under your tongue?

Have you ever planned your life, calculated the events in each and every passing year, to realize later that you can exhale for the reason that your calculations and your plans are merely a suggestion to an already set plan?

Have you ever felt like crying a river, as hard and loud as you can, but to no one ears but your creator, for HE will never judge you , for HE will only hear you and comfort you ?

Have you ever felt, like wanting someone to see through you, read you without a sounding word?

Have you ever been lost in your path, tripping by the pebbles of your thoughts, dreams, hopes, because you keep on missing your way with all those hanged confusing signs?

Have you ever felt you have the forever to re-right your mistakes and correct your tendencies, to be hit afterwards that there is nothing called " forever that I have" , there is only now to start with , for when forever comes it will be too late?

Oh .. have you ?

Shopping sceneries .. مشاهدات من السوق

2006-10-06T17:06:00.000+03:00

بنتين داخلين على محل بشارع الوكالات طبعا الحكي بيناتهم على سياسة " اهلية محلية" , كل اللي حواليهم بالمحل

كان الهم مشاركة سمعية فعالة

البنت الأولى :اه ..لا انا اليوم ما صمت .. بس مش عارفة ليه هيك حاسة حالي تعبانة , بس اروح من السوق بدي ارجع اتغدى .. جوعانة !

البنت التانية :سلامتك ... ياي !!!! شوفي شو منزلين عالنيو كولليكشن !!! حبيت بنطلونات الجينز هدول .. مش عم بتدوري على واحد انتي ؟

البنت الأولى: اه .. ياي .. قصتهم فايعة ... هييي .. بليز , تعطيني مقاس تسعة و عشرين

الشاب اللي في المحل : اه اكيد .. بس هدول قصتهم و مقاساتهم ضيقة شوية .. فحعطيكي تلاتين

.
البنت ألاولى بتاخد المقاس تلاتين و بتتسهل على غرفة القياس .. و برجع الكل بيلتهي باللي كان فيه ..بعد شوية ,, بطلع صوت البنت التانية : وااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااووووو .. حبيتو عليكي . جد .. كتيييير نايس عليكي يا نورية

!طبعا مع هيك تعليق .. كللو ترك اللي باديه و رجع يتطلع على الموديل الوااااااو

البنت الاولى : لأ ولك وييين الواااو بالموضوع ! ما حبيتو .. شوفي شو منصحني .. كتيييير بقرانة انا
شوفي شو بيخزي عليي!

هون اللي كان سامع و مش شايف بقرب اكتر حتى يتأكد انو مش واااو البنطلون

البنت الاولى بتطللع بالشاب اللي اعطاها البنطلون و بتقوللو : و انتا كيف شايف ؟ . ... و بتفتل حوالين حالها ..

طبعا الشاب كان من الأساس متمسمر جنب غرفة القياس من قبل ما تقيس البنطلون .. الشاب بيجاوب : لا كتيييييييييييير حلو عليكي .. يعني المقاس عليكي بالزبط ..

صاحبتها بترجع بتأكد كلامو و بتهز براسها و بتقوللها : بعدين ولك هبلة انتي !!! كللو اربعين دينار .. لقطة !

البنت الأولى : لأ لأ... اتطللعي شو منصحني ..مش معئولة انا شو اني صايرة بقرة .. اتطللعي هون . و كمان هون !!! لا لا .. و بتدخل على غرفة القياس .

بعد دقيقتين .. بتطلع و بتزت البنطلون بوجه الشاب ..
الشاب ييسألها : شو ؟؟ اوكي البنطلون ؟
!!!!البنت الأولى بتجاوب : لأ , مش اوكي ابدا !!!!! بدي اعمل رجيم قاسي .. برجعلك بس انحف

طبعا بيطلعو البنتين مع ضحك الشباب اللي بالمحل .. و حوقلة الأمهات اللي مع بناتهم

My personal comment:

I have seen many situations, more or less, of the same content I posted above. I have few things that I cannot get about them:

1. The loud tone of speaking and laughing they use once they get into the store..
- The bad naming of each other, as if being friends or cool with someone, gives them the authority of bad mouthing each other publicly or even in private , thinking it makes them "cuter" .
2. The obvious attempt to make everyone around an audience of there little "funny" charade.
3. The obvious insensible and inconsiderable nature of their conversation, plus to the clear lack of good manners.

It is understandable that in teenage years , boys and girls are a bit wild in their behaviors , but its not only them , even fully grown up women these days are caught in such situations !The way I see it , this is not a personal choice or a freedom issue , to me it is simply bad manners , lack of discipline and observation , and nothing really justify it .

A yearly trip

2006-10-02T14:13:00.000+03:00

I am inviting you to join me in a very short trip , Interested to come along? Then, Hop on board, I promise , it wont take you long. Okay, Now you are a bit back in time, not too much, say, two months back, why two months? no specific reason, we can make them three, you can actually pick the time you want and the day you want, but we are not looking for "any" day, I need you to go back with me to that day, when you were in your office, everything around was noisy and chaotic , and the main street outside was adding to your agony and your brains are about to explode . Oh! you have a very calm office , okay then , you can choose your venue , it can be a party with loud annoying music , speakers just behind your head and music adding to your throbbing headache , it can be your house , but in a very tensed day , it can be any place and anytime , but where you have this discomfort with the atmosphere around you , your thoughts are all mixed up , and you simply cannot focus on anything , too much outside jam of noises and clatter to the limit you cannot hear yourself thinking , and all you wish for is simply an hour of peacefulness , so that you can gather your thoughts and clear up your mind . Been there before ?

Okay , now I want you to apply the above on a bit wider time scheme , say a whole year , where you are lost in the track of days , you are living this discomfort over and over , not necessarily on daily basis , but lets say , a great deal of it , you know your life is a mess one way or another , you look back to that year , and you see your soul lost in your life's knotted traffic .

Your prayers are short and abrupt , your promised nights of reading those versus of Quran are never kept , your schemes for spending more time on looking up the real needy in this world and try to reach them with some backup and reinforcement have never left your brain's blueprint to the real ground . In short, you feel guilt and you are not satisfied if not ashamed of your whole religious performance for the past year , and you need a break , actually you need more than that , you need a beginning .

Time passes fast, and Ramadan is right behind the corner, you think. You can smell it in the air before it starts, and you long for it, a whole month where you can wash your sins, where you can strengthen your relation with your creator, and with your inner soul , and renew your acquaintance with those small bits that you seem to forget.

The holy month begins, and your demons are trapped. It’s the moment of truth, its you and your inner self to demonstrate and rule, and you realize few changes , you seem to keep the dawn prayer more than before, your tongue seems to love reciting the versus of Quran , your heart aches and soften for those touchy prayers you hear . You stay sleepless and teary at nights, revising your past year, you pray to Allah to pick you from your astray-ness and lost-ness .You sense the change and you wish to maintain until after the holy month breaks.

For some, the New Years Eve stands for the beginning of a new life where new resolutions are made, and new promises are taken to keep, but for others, Ramadan, the whole month of it , represents all of that in addition to a soul vacation from the chaotic world behind , offering a decent space to review and hear self thoughts loud as well as having another chance of a new fresh beginning.

Ramadan Kareem , and Allah's Bless.

Harra2 beosba3o recipe وصفة الحراق باصبعه بالعجين

2006-10-02T09:07:00.000+03:00

وصفة الحراق باصبعه بالعجين

وعدت من شي اكثر من اسبوع ان انشر وصفة الحراق باصبعه . هاي الوصفة , اصلها والله اعلم شامي , و اكله شتوية لأنها بتعطي طاقة , مقاديرها بسيطة و تطبيقها سهل كتير

الوصفة بالاجمال مأخوذة من كتاب "ألف بـاء الطبخ" , لكن بتصرف !! لأنو في اجتهادات من ماما ممكن تكون اعطتها شي زيادة . بكل الأحوال , انا بدي اكتب الوصفة , و انتوا برجع لكم تجربوها

مقادير الحراق باصبعه
واحد كوب عدس غير مجروش , يعني حب صحيح
اثنان بصل كبير
اثنان فص ثوم
باقة من الكزبرة الخضراء
فنجان زيت نباتي المعيار هو فنجان قهوة , يعادل تقريبا خمسة و سبعون مل
فنجان من دبس الرمان او ممكن يعرف برب الرمان
فنجان من عصير الليمون , غير المحلى طبعا
رشة بهار ممكن استبدالها برشة فلفل اسود لمن يريد , معيار الرشة تابع للذوق الشخصي
رغيف من خبز الشراك , او اي خبز رقيق متوافر , ممكن تورتيلا

مقادير العجين
واحد كوب طحين
نصف كوب ماء او اكثر بقليل , بحيث لا يلتصق العجين
رشة ملح خفيفة

تحضير العجين
يعجن العجين باضافة الماء و الطحين و الملح تدريجيا , يخلط باطراف الأصابع , و يعجن الى ان يصبح طريا متماسكا لا يلتصق بالأصابع . يرش طحين على السطح الذي سيتم رق العجين عليه , يرق العجين على شكل رغيف كبير و رقيق , ثم طي العجين الى طيات ثم يقطع بالعرض الى حبال عرضها واحد سم, ثم تققطع الحبال الى مربعات.

تحضير الحراق باصبعه

بعد ان ينقى العدس من الأوساخ و يغسل , يتم وضعه على النار مع اضافة حوالي تسعة اكواب من الماء ,طهي البقوليات يستهلك كمية لا بأس بها من الماء. يمكن استخدام طنجرة الضغط لسرعة الطهي. لكن قبل اغلاقها , يتم اأنتظار حتى تغلي الماء او تقارب على الغليان , حيبها يتم اضافة العجين المقطع و فنجان الزيت النباتي. يحكم اغلاق الطنجرة الى ان يستوي العدس بحيث يصبح طريا لكن ليس مهروسا.

في انتظار العدس لكي يستوي , يتم تقطيع البصل الى شرائح رقيقة بعد تقشيره, ثم يحمر في الزيت الحار الى ان يقارب لونه الذهبي , عندها يرفع البصل و يتم الابقاء على الزيت و حيث سيتم استخدامه لاحقا.

تغسل وتفرم الكزبرة ناعما , ثم يدق الثوم مع رشة ملح خفيفة , تلوح الكزبرة و الثوم في الزيت , ثم تطفأ النار عنها

بعد ان يستوي العدس,بحيث يصبح طريا لكن ليس مهروسا , تفتح الطنجرة , و يضاف دبس الرمان , و الليمون و رشة البهار و الملح , الأخيران حسب التفضيل و الذوق , يحرك الحراق قليلا ثم يترك لكي يتسبّك , يمكن اضافة الماء حسب الحاجة اذا كان جامدا. يكوون قامه متماسك ليس مرقا جدا ولا جامدا.
في هذه الأثناء . يتم اضافة مصفى زيت قلي البصل بدون شرائح البصل , و مصفى زيت الكزبرة و الثوم بدونها ايضأ , لذا عند القلي , يمن تزويد كمية الزيت , لهذا الاستخدام السابق. هذه الاضافة لاعطاء نكهة مميزة . و يتم التحريك , و يكون بهذا قد استوى.
يتم تقطيع الخبز بمقص الخبز الى مربعات صغيرة , و قليها

يسكب الحراق باصبعه في وعاء زجاجي او فخاري , يتم تزيين الوجه بالبصل المقلي و الكزبرة و الثوم المقليين , ثم ينثر الخبز القلي على الوجه . ممكن ابقاء مواد التزيين في اوعية اخرى و عدم نثرها على سطح الحراق , حسب ما بتفضلو
وصحتين و عافية
كلمة اخيرة , هاي اول مرة بطبع بالعربي هالقد!!! و انهلكت !!!! بس حبيت اشارككم بهاي الأكلة :) و ان شاء الله تحبوها

Random Ramadani craving : Tarabolsieyh

2006-09-26T14:04:00.000+03:00

Today is slow , very slow ! The past two days were running without a leash, obviously, because my hands were full with ASAP-must–be-done tasks .However today is moving like a turtle ! It could be because I do not have lots of work to do, actually I have few things that need to be done, you know those little scattered tasks that you know you should finish and if anyone asks about it , you'll shove your hand and say "Uh , piece of cake! I'll be done with it in no time " and then you realize its accumulating into a group of small irritating tasks that you need to be done with , your subconscious is telling you are being silly putting them away and you should be done with them ,but you are simply stalling, because you don't feel like it today ! How unprofessional!

Anyway, that's not where I was intending to go with this post. Actually, I wanted to talk about a food craving that I had. Yesterday, I had the most consuming craving for an Arabic sweet called Tarabolsieyh** I was sitting on my desk doing some work , everyone was talking about food and sweets "the main chatter in Ramadan , next to religious issues ,family visits , TV shows and everybody's lack of proper sleep " and of course Atayef had to be mentioned , Atayef with cheese ,Atayef with walnuts and some new revolutionary Atayef with apples and raisins ( right !!! With apples and raisins. it made me wonder about its taste! Sounds like a good combination with cinnamon and melted sugar, but as an atayef ! hmm , I should try it and see ) and in the middle of everybody's talk I was haunted with the thought of Tarabolsieyh , I suddenly was able to smell , taste and chew it in my mind ! The smell , the memorized taste of sweetened pistachios under my teeth and whipped cream , all over made my mouth water , and I kept seeing pieces of Tarabolsieyh flying around me at work ! The case were food flies around me happened before, it could get as bad as seeing people with food heads!

Its funny how our bodies respond to cravings, like for example, whenever someone mentions lemons and salt, my mouth wont stop watering! But you know what is even funnier, is how mind ties some foods to specific occasions or people. In the case of Tarabolsieyh , I only had this kind of sweet at one of my friends house , when she used to invite me over for Iftar each Ramadan , Tarabolsieyh was the first sweet we start with after finishing Iftar and starting the tea and coffee session . My friend got married and moved out of Jordan, and the memory of me and her having Tarabolsieyh remained with me in every Ramadan. A part of my craving might be well explained by the fact; I miss her ever since she has traveled away.

Of course, after work I went straight to the only bakery that prepares it in Amman, grabbed some to have after Iftar , you can see below the single remaining piece !

**( It is a sweet , I am guessing Lebanese from the town of Tripoli , as you can see from the name. It consists of two parts the lower is smellier to ma3omoul be fosto2 7alabi and the upper is a type of whipped cream called Natef , however, these days they are using the ordinary whipped cream )

(Tarabolsieyh)

Blew it out

2006-09-14T10:04:00.000+03:00

She blew it out, she blew it out for sure . Just like every other time someone tried to get closer. She always manages to get to this point were all her senses freezes. And were she gets defensive. She simply thinks that any attempt from anyone to get more acquainted with her is, fearful.

She was sitting in her office, staring at the screen in front of her , it was noon time , everybody in her office was out for lunch . However, she had no apatite. Her day did not start good. She did not have good night sleep either. Today simply feels like a long extension of yesterday. She tilted her head back in an effort of soothing her tired neck muscles, and she managed to close her eyes for few seconds, they are burning with exhaustion and lack of sleep. She rotated her chair towards the window so that anyone passing by her office door won't see her napping. And she tried to relax her body. Just for few minutes, she needs to concentrate in her report, she has a lot of figures to solve and distribute. She took a deep breathe , and folded her arms on her chest . But in few seconds, she realized that her attempt is useless, her thoughts were magnifying now, and his face is haunting the blackness scene of her closed eyes.

She drifted again in her thoughts .She believes that she has a serious problem when it comes to relations, she thought. She always manages to get friendly and pleasant with people around her, she knows how to build bridges, but she is surely more knowledgeable in how to ruin them if someone crossed a specific area , she usually have a good judgment of people whom she meets . But every time a guy approaches her and tries to get closer, she feels that her security ground is falling apart. She tries, but she always fails. She really feels like she wants to get to know this person . She wants to go for may be something further, but something always holds her back. And that was the case with him.

She knew him through her work, where she occasionally met with him in different events and meetings. She remembers first time she saw him , did not really leave a mark in her mind , back then , all she knew was him working closely within same domain as hers . The next time, he was attending this rally, she remembers that she was standing with some colleagues, when she heard someone saying "Hi Salma' , keifek ? " (Hi Salma , how are you ?) .. She turned to see who was greeting her, the voice was familiar to her ears, and she found him stretching his open hand to shake hers. Back then, he managed to keep close from her during lunch time, and he appeared to know some of her colleagues, so he joined the group table, and before the day ends, he made sure to give her his card and she of course had to give him hers in exchange. That day, she made this mental remark of this guy, nothing much underneath it, the words nice, humorous and gentle flashed in her mind. She ran up to him coincidently several times after that , in different occasions , business and randomly in her hang outs with her friends , her mental remark was fatting up now , she had much more other terms now , he is cute, lovely chatter , smart , elegant and extremely polite.

She always sensed something more behind his welcoming enchanting behavior when she was around , she caught him staring at her more than once , but as usual , with all childish idiocy of hers , she never matched back the look , she had this unbelievably annoying tendency of being shy and instant blushing , and she hated it when she blushed , and she thought that by never matching his look , that she is giving him more space , and that she is saving him and her from awkwardness of the gaze , she thinks now , she has always done that , she simply cannot get over this childish habit .

she grew fonder about him, every time she saw him. but never able to show her fondness. Her shyness and lack of relationships experience made it hard for her to let him see that she also cared. However , she thought he has to read her mind , he surely read it , even at that one time when he tried to ask her out and she refused , he had to understand that it was not about rejecting him , it was simply her shy nature , she deemed he understood her.
Not long after that, he stopped showing around, and coincidences of random meetings were not there anymore.

Months passed, she thought of calling him, but again, her shyness was her drawback, "what would she say? Will he care ? Where was he ? why is not he showing up or calling anymore ?" she remained perplexed with her thoughts , until yesterday's evening . She was out with her mother shopping around household stuff, when she recognized this tall figure by the far end of the show table, it was him! he was standing there examining some china , her eyes glowed and she was about to overcome her shyness and go to say hi , just to realize that he was not alone , or more like , he was no longer alone . There was a nice looking girl standing next to him, holding his hand picking up the China with him. It was only then , when she saw , that she was too late and he was no longer available .

Someone knocked on the open door; she opened her eyes and turned her chair back facing the comer, ah, office boy delivering some mail envelopes to her. She thought she needed a cup of coffee to sober, But she headed first towards the toilet, washed her tired face and cupped her eyes with her iced water filled hands , trying to disguise tears she no longer was able to hold , going back to square one in her thoughts .. She surely blew it.

Guess what .. You've been "TAGGED" !

2006-09-10T01:31:00.000+03:00

Obviously, there is some "tagging" activity going on the blog-sphere these days , where each fellow blogger tags another fellow blogger to answer this some sort of "Blog questionnaire " , and you are right , I have been tagged , by my blog-friend the caller http://thecaller.jeeran.com/nadaha , Thank you :).

( and on a totally irrelevant subject .. I wish I knew how you guys make a link , tried that but failed awfully , it would look much nicer than putting the real link into the post , I know ! well , I guess I'll make it one day by error and trial !)

And before I'd start answering the questions , I only want to note one thing , that's it's been less than 4 months for me blogging in , yet , I find myself feeling more comfortable about writing and posting as time passes , although , I have to say at the beginning , I thought I would give up fast .

Now , moving to the questions :

1- Do you like the look and the contents of your blog?
Generally, yes. Though, there are few things I wish if I can change , like , the line width and how can I add a picture to the top of my blog page , you know , these sort of "only IT people would know " things . Can anyone give me tips on that?

2- Does your family know about your blog?
Nope , I am not sure if they would be interested , but I would bring it up , if we ever discussed blogs !

3- Can you tell your friends about your blog? do you consider it a private thing?
Well, I have mentioned it to a couple of close friends, not to everybody though, the thing is, people wont be interested about "the thing" unless if they have the same passion you have for it.

4- Do you just read the blogs of those who comment on your blog? Or you try to discover new blogs?
Both , I am always interested in viewing the blogs of whoever leaves a comment on my blog , it's not like I have a traffic jam here :) , so it's easy to check them out , and I do check new blogs every now and then , whom with a short time , I become a frequent reader and commenter of as well .

5- Did your blog positively effected your mind? give an example.
Yes, somehow , it has given me a window with a new and different view to the world , to my thoughts , and to the concerns of others ..

6- What does the number of visitors to your blog mean?do you use a traffic counter?
Well , the number does not necessarily mean "something". But ,whenever I see the number of visitors coming up , I smile childishly to my screen ! Nope, I do not have a counter other than what's provided by the blogging service itself.

7- did you imagine how other bloggers look like?
Yes, if they did not have pictures posted on their blogs , and the imagination is always influenced by their writings .

8- Do you think blogging have any real benefit?
For me , yes , otherwise , I would've stopped long time ago.

9- Do you think that the blogsphere is a stand alone community separated from the real world?
No, it's is another shade of communication in this world , sometimes, people can elaborate better in writing , without having any drawbacks to keep them from it .

10- Do some political blogs scare you?do you avoid them.
Well, no , I tend to brows a lot , and read from here and there , why should I be scared though ?!
11- Do you think that criticizing your blog is useful?
In a way, it could be useful.

12-Have you ever thought about what happen to your blog in case you died?
No , haven't reached to that stage .

13- Which blogger had the greatest impression on you?
Everyone I read for ,affected me differently , I realized how some of us can be so much alike , and how can we be so much different , and that , in some things , we are never alone . also, it’s a mind opener , the debate that goes on different topics , can stimulate ones mind for looking for truth

14- Which blogger you think is the most similar to you .
I have a name :) .. but naaa , I am not going to write it down.

15- Name a song you want to listen to ?
Actually, two songs " Ba3dak 3ala bali – Fairooz) and, (Habibi – Julia Botross).

16- Ask five bloggers to answer these questions on their blogs?
Well, guys, it has been sort of fun answering these questions, so , don't hate me for tagging you :) .. I heard that you are obligated to answer once you're tagged .. so .. have fun !

Tamara
Summer
Hareega
ABOUD
LotusGem

( P.S of course no one is obligated you should do it only if you felt like it )

Busted !

2006-09-06T10:31:00.000+03:00

I knew this ought to happen sooner or later, someone will recognize something, a title, a photo , a little piece of info. , anyone accidentally dropping by my blog .
Well , to start with , I knew that most of my friends don't really blog or know about this blogging community thing .Actually , I was the one who brought this matter up to them in different occasions , and some has heard of it , some never heard of it , all in all , no one seemed to be that interested in knowing what could it be about . So , I thought , well , no harm to stay anonymous , only known through my blog ID , and the posts that I write down every now and then .

" Masks we hide behind"

Some of us , may have came clean about their identities letting everybody know who they are , and what they do in life , sharing sometimes the intimate details about their daily routine . while, others may have enrolled into this blogging habit, as an escape, writing down whatever, they want, to discuss, to share or feel, knowing that they could be wandering all by their own on their blogsphere , or they could be fortunate enough to have others feel interested about what they bring out on their spaces , and pay them a visit every now and then Yet , they manage keeping a decent space between them and the people whom they interact with behind the blogging ID's.

"The mysterious us "

So when it comes to the internet world, no matter how individuals try to keep their anonymity, there will be someone who would recognize them. And in so many cases , we provide the tools to be recognized .We may have started with a low profile , but with time , we tend to leak scattered pieces of information here and there , that would make the pick up and the gather of it easily achieved .And sometimes , we may do this unconsciously , wanting –in our deep inner selves- someone to recognize us .

Getting personal ..

2006-09-04T09:24:00.000+03:00

So far , the day started well , I am in a good mood , having my daily " work days " Nescafe , but haven't got into work mood yet . Still , I am not really worried about that , because I have finished a good deal of work last week and yesterday , So today , I can breathe a bit , and spare sometime writing something new .. Actually, it's not my idea, I kind of borrowed Tamara's idea http://labyrinth-of-the-soul.blogspot.com , she shed some light on her personal life yesterday by showing us one corner of it , her desk :) ! which can tell some about the person sitting behind . In my case here and generally speaking , my desk is messy.. I admit! Lots of meaningful and meaningless work papers scattered here and there, with a promise in my head that, I will drop by my work one weekend to clean it all up ! but , I guess that is not happening anytime soon , I've made that promise over 4 months ago !

In the first picture , you can see the "meaningful and meaningless work papers piled up " to the far right of the picture , and believe me , that's a good day office look , then you can see my Mexican patterned Nescafe mug , obviously, my Agenda , my screen and keyboard , and some of my work bodies – the little toys here and there , and yes , I still have my childish moments , and often speak to Claire , the little doll with that big head , sitting on my mobile chair , she has been with me ever since I started working , right after graduation , so , you can say she gets me , because she has seen it all :) . Now , left to the screen , you can see Mr. Sponge Bob , with other toys , collected from various "kids meals" deliveries , , and NO , it's not about the toys ..I just happen to find the size of those meals satisfactory !! really !

Now in the second photo, you can have a glance on how messy it could get sometimes, with "meaningful and meaningless work papers scattered allover " , obviously, Claire is having a bad day as well ..

Well , I guess I'd better start the real work now :) .. and I will be dropping new posts , soon .. I promise ..

Sometimes .. It's too late

2006-08-11T03:26:00.000+03:00

Sometimes , as we walk the course of life , we get too busy or involved with the road , that we no longer notice the signs ,sometimes , we see chances waving for us , but we stand numb and think , should we go and pick it or should we not , we observe it ,we study it from a distance , we analyze it , except when we are ready for it , it would no longer be there , it would have flown away, with no return .

Sometimes we may run into people whom sounded right from the first sight , that we instantly mark them in our minds and hearts , that we feel a mutual connection and bond just right there , yet ,to reach a state of confusion and reluctant-ness after sometime , thinking that we could have jumped into a dream , that we assembled in our meditations.

And sometimes , we meet the right persons , but we let them go , just because reluctant-ness and confusion were the first thing we felt about them , then to our surprise ,as we head towards a better understanding of our feelings towards them , and reach a more comfortable area , it could simply be too late for them , they have waited for you too long ,and you missed the flight to their hearts .

In early years of maturity, the heart is always open for more and more experiences, the youth and freshness, are there to keep the good faith about people around, and to maintain the heart. However, as one grows old into this life, a layer of rustiness and yellowness covers most of the vents to the core of it. It won't be easy to fall in love, mind you believe it's there. Your mind simply occupies a larger piece, and runs your feelings instead of your heart. And its then only then , is when you miss the chance , because you no longer feel , you only see and match , while it takes more to shake the rust off your heart . It may need more time more intensity or simply a different path to tackle those small remaining fresh bits in the pile of rustiness, but it simply would be too late.

George Galloway & SKY news

2006-08-08T14:15:00.000+03:00

Check the link below and view the video to know what I am talking about .

I came across this link , which I believe many of you have seen , and probably many of you share the same idea I had when I finished seeing and hearing this interview .

I simply have to say, I have never seen a man - who is not of an Arab origin- defending our causes the way this man did.

I know that some will probably say, that George Galloway has one been a parliament member in British parliament , so he might be looking for publicity of fame, and this is why he is adopting such causes . whether this is the case or not , this man sounded sincere to the bone in his argument with the SKY news interviewer , he simply said it loud and clear , he spelled out my thoughts , he knew what to say and how to say it .

I urge you , the ones who have not seen it to check this link , and hear the whole interview , I guarantee you , you will love it !

http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-galloway_060806,00.html

and for ones who got curious to know more about Galloway , please find below a link to his biography. The man has been an activist in Palestinian and Lebanese causes for a long time .

http://www.georgegalloway.com/bio.html

I admit .. I don't know how to manage my time !

2006-08-07T09:52:00.000+03:00

This post is more like a personal thought , I am sure that most of you have came across this in their lives ,but for me this was a first , and I have to say , it has affected me in a way or another in considering some decisions for things in my future .

For the past few weeks, I have been totally immersed in my life, I had to attend a workshop right after my work, add to that the family obligations that used to pope up mostly as long late summer nights visits during the week days, and then the reading that I had to do for the next day , and the usual round on internet that I am accustomed to do just before going to bed. I used to function for almost 16-18 hours a day , which I know now , some of you will go and say , " well, welcome to the real life , a 16 hours is the minimum of our stuffed days !" but I have to say , I am not used to this , my body was acting horribly , my eating habits went over the edge , I had zero concentration , I was not finding time to exercise , and I was always longing for more and more sleep and relaxation . Weekends, were simply wasted on having more sleep just to be barely able to function the very next day . And I had almost zero communication with my friends. Bottom line, I felt like a total wreck !

Mentioning all of the above , I realized that , I have passed through this for a small period of time , yet , I had a great difficulty adjusting myself and life to it , I tried to cope , however, I was looking forward for the end of this period and going back to my old routine life . I also realized, that some of us have to go through such a working phase for almost every single day in their life , working – sometimes- over 16 hours a day , having families to support , and a career to maintain .

Moreover, I realized , that time is precious, and we do not really think of how important it is , or could be until we suffer the shortage in it , and when a day passes ,as if it was a couple of hours .

I have to admit, I usually take my time for granted , I totally suck when it comes to time management , I simply wish if I can start a list of my daily "do's" and start working by them ,but I am not quiet sure that I will be able to go by the list. I know that some of you do that already, I need a hint a trick, or an experience where you were also bad in time management but you turned into experts in handling your time. So , feel free to share you thoughts with me , and I will be happy to read it and learn from you .

Mental escape of the day

2006-07-17T14:52:00.000+03:00

I am craving for a break ! I need a break .. seriously .. everything around me is driving me nuts .. And it consumes a lot of my remaining energy to follow up my work and do everything that I am supposed to be doing, time is simply flying when you need it most . Its in such times that I have this crazy fantasy of running away to some little cottage in a mountain with a lake outside and lots of green bushes around, fresh clean air , no pollution or street noises , only calmness and peacefulness all around , where I can go sit on the shady terrace with a nice book and have nothing to worry about in my mind other than the moment I am living .. Wouldn't that be neat !?

I do realize the fact that such combination only exists in my dreams, obviously ,because I cannot run on my own , moreover, there are mountains but no lakes here in Jordan , and finally , I don't have a cottage house!!

I think I'll have to accept the fact that my warm tea mug next to me along with these lines are the only logical escape I will be having for the rest of the day ..

Lost her forever ..

2006-07-15T00:44:00.000+03:00

Sitting on his bed.. with both hands resting on his knees .. Gazing into the emptiness of the blue sky ahead of him .. Thinking that its only a matter of hours and she'll belong to another man.. a stranger whom only knew her for few months .. and whom now is justified to hold her , kiss her and dance with her .. While he would be lucky if he got to shake her hand anymore.. he closed his eyes .. laid on his back folding one hand behind his head and putting the other on his chest somewhere near to his heart .. diving into a sea of sweet innocent memories with her .. she was his cousin .. and she was his childhood companion and the infant love of his seventeen years old heart .. they all lived in one big building with their grandparents on the ground floor , while his father and each one of his uncles inhabiting one floor of the six story building .. he was one year older than what she was .. a year difference was huge back then .. when they all were little children .. and when he was her guardian angle .

They had a lot of cousins .. one big noisy loud funny young gang they were .. they all used to gather and play in the garden till late midnight time in the summer .. and in school nights they used to go down to their grandparents just after they finish their homework and circle around their teita ,, while she was telling them those wild stories of ogres ,Genies and the treasure chests .. she used to sit next to him and burry her little head in his chest whenever she is scared of the tale .. and he used to put his little arm around her shoulders to grant her a better sense of security as long as she was by his side .. Then when its bed time and they all climb the stairs to their houses and beds , he would dream of saving her of those ugly ogres and finding the treasure ... and she was always by his side .. whenever they went to the nearby store for some chips and gum , he would always grab her hand and keep her to the inner side of the road, away from cars .. he simply felt obligated and responsible of her ..

Years passed .. and they grew up .. she was blossoming .. turning into this divine young woman .. while he was struggling unsuccessfully to hide those annoying squeaks of his semi child semi masculine voice .. they were not allowed to play closely anymore .. and she was spending more time with the older female cousins now .. away from the other cousins and away from him .. yet .. whenever they were all together she used to keep close to him .. until last winter .. he was on his way out to meet a friend .. when he noticed two ladies with a young man whom he did not recognize approaching the gate .. he did not give it a lot of thought and went on his way .. a week later .. her engagement was announced ! a news that came as a falling rock on his head .. he couldn't believe his ears nor his eyes .. she was only sixteen ! and she was getting engaged to a 27 years old man .. and he cannot do anything about it ! he has no car .. he has no job .. he has no house .. and above all he is still a student .. whom is deprived of his love ..

Aware of the horns noises outside.. he opened his eyes .. and slowly got up from his bed .. he put on the suite jacket .. took one last look in the mirror on his pale face .. then stopped by his drawer .. opened it .. grabbed that yellowish old photo of her sitting on his lap ten years ago .. Registering in his mind that this was the closest he ever got … and that he lost her .. forever.

Sleepless Sunday nights!

2006-06-25T11:49:00.000+03:00

I am "sniffing" my Nescafe waiting for the aroma to penetrate through my nostrils caressing those sleepy nerves in my mind, and then sipping this purposely condensed hot drink in another attempt to wake up!

I simply hate Sunday nights.. I went to bed relatively late last night.. I always have this insomnia on Sunday nights as well as on every night with a holiday before.. No matter what .. I always end up awake with a meaningless struggle with my bed sheets to sleep.. so last night I laid my head on my pillow .. Relaxed my body .. Read the Quran versus I am supposed to read.. closed my eyes .. and waited for the sleep fairy to come and put me into the half dead half alive state .. I am waiting.. waiting.. waiting.. Nothing is happening .. turned to the other side .. tried to empty my head of thoughts .. not working ! okay .. lets count sheep .. my imagination is worked up a little and I am picturing the field where the sheep are eating , shape of fence they are going to jump off , state of weather.. blue sky with few white clouds scattered here and there .. great !! DETAILS ! meaning .. very alert mind .. no way to get any sleep .. fine.. Turn to the other side .. Now I am feeling hot .. no breeze coming from the window .. and I am too lazy to get up and splash some water over my face to cool down .. so.. Again turn into the other side .. this time .. focus .. focus you have to get enough sleep in order to wake up early .. I am stressing out! .. again closed my eyes .. and started to imagine myself in that nice dreamy lake shore .. hmmm .. okay .. what am I going to do about that task I have to finish tomorrow .. Ooops ! no noo this is wrong .. when you are trying to sleep , you shouldn't be thinking of the work you have to do the next day .. God.. I am way passed the state of half dead half a live.. I am very much alive ! okay .. so I get up .. drink water and splash some on me .. then grab a book and start reading .. maybe my eyes would go tired and I would fall asleep .. I am using a dim light after all so my eyes should get tired ! .. eventually they do , but my mind is still alert .. its 3:30 a.m. and I am still awake with no signs of sleepiness .. I eventually give up , go back to my bed put my pillow on the other end of my bed and close my eyes .. Hear the Iqameh .. then hear the Dawn Adan .. that’s exactly when my eyes start to feel heavy .. I snatch myself out of bed , pray and then fall like a stone into my bed and finally sleep !

Do you ever feel this way ?

2006-06-10T01:23:00.000+03:00

There are days in my life that pass by without any marks.. days that are so plain , that I don't even feel the difference between day and night in them , where all I would do is work , exercise , watch TV and sleep , nothing else going in my mind , no plans , no feelings , nothing .. Totally numb to the surroundings around me, yet the feeling isn't always that bad , its more like living each day by its own , not worrying about the future , which was my major reason to sink into a deep depression state past winter , worrying too much , about my work , my future , the fact that I have no one in my life to secure my emotional feelings , when its about time to find a partner to commit with for a life time , and see a new perspective of life as being a couple . its kind of hard when one see his/her friends all are in a nicely committed relationship with their significant other , either married , engaged or in their way to such a stage , you feel happy for them being pleased with their lives, and thinking that its good to be the last one single , because you know you can handle it on your own , but you would worry they wouldn't , that why again , you are glad they are hooked up with someone who cares for them , hmmm .. Strange funny logic isn’t it… more like an excuse of acting brave!
It’s the loneliness that kills ,the feeling of being with no partner when you crave for someone whom would share you a life , to celebrate your youth and best years with a person whom you will love and protect .

However, life goes by, and one keeps in mind that there is no need to be with someone who's not the right one, so no harm in waiting for the right person.

Longest day ever

2006-06-07T15:33:00.000+03:00

Ever had the feeling that.. This day ain't ending! Minutes are more like hours.. it takes forever for a 5 minutes to pass , and an hour feels more like half a day ! And on top of all of that no urgent work to finish or do, nor I feel like doing anything today, and I finished all topics and small office talks for the day , I do not feel like browsing the net nor reading anything and I still have annoying traces of summer flu which makes me have this gross gluey feeling . Its one of those lost days which you know that you cannot get back, you feel sorry for losing them , because it’s a day minus your life without any flavor in it .. Those days tend to start as ordinary days, however, as the day hours pass by, one realize the slow motion of everything around. And amazingly enough, you aren't the only person who would feel this way, as if it is something real that others also sense! Everything seems to take forever in it , and action that would consume at least two hours of your day , finishes in about half an hour , which again adds more meaningless hours to your day.

How come we feel some days are soooooooo long, while other days pass in a heart beat?

the Start

2006-06-06T12:21:00.000+03:00

Today is my first day in blogging !

I have always had a million thoughts in my mind to write about , but funny enough , now , as I am typing my first post , thoughts are running away , actually , I feel as if I am standing on stage preparing to say a speech , yet chocking with my thoughts instead of my voice ( can thoughts squeak as well ? ) . The funny thing is in my career, I will have to face the fact that one day I MUST perform presentation to a large audience, all staring, hearing and paying attention to every detail you do while you are on the podium ! isn't that scary ? the idea itself scares me ! Although away from public speaking, I am a very talkative person!

Anyhow, until this day comes, I will hope that I will get over the Public speaking fear issue I have!

Please do not be hard on me and judge too fast, give my blog more time , brows in every now and then , read , comment and I hope you will come back !