How often do we mean the things we say? How often do we mean it when we say to a friend or a close one that I'll be there for you in anytime and in any situation and we are THERE for them when they need us?
How often do we think that old flames of affection for people whom we've grown fond of will remain and stay the same or even ignite as time passes?
How often do we mean it when we say to someone we miss them, and when they say it back, do they really mean it? Then why is it we don't hear from them, unless if we picked the phone and dialed their numbers?
And how come "love" is a word that can be thrown on someone's ear, that in a matter of years it vanishes as if it never been pointed to our hearts , and they are strangers in the street?
And how many times we thought of a person as a friend, that we'll depend on his/her unquestioned and ongoing support and love, to find that years will steal those precious friendship senses of the relation, leave it all formal and dry?
How often we build dreams and wishes on imaginary basis, and then fall into our delusional illusions , to be shaken up later from those dreams and fall into the street of real life?
How often our sweetest memories of different intervals of life shape up our relations to some people , and as we think it will remain and sustain it forever , we get smacked by the one and only truth that nothing remains the same , even the best of relations ?
Is it that we love our past more than present? Is it that we "imagine" that those were a better days and yesterday is a day we lost and can never get back? Then why do we run for our future? Because it will be a past one day?
Who does even care …
19 comments:
The society often imposes these matters on many people.
Sometimes a guy would say the "L" word just to get laid ... sometimes a woman would say it to get something ...
It's not the fault of the person saying it if people just take it at face value without double checking. Well, not all the time at least
Asalam 3alaykom,
Sweet danah...
When we remember yesterday we mourn it cause we hate loosing what we had even if sometimes it was nothing but crap!!
And we strive for tomorrow out of surviving..we wanna hang on to hope for a better chance of better living and loving among other things..
Human..only human..sometimes i see calculated people where everything is portioned and thought of and i wonder...are they human??!!
Do they get disappointed like us??!
At least me..i'm not that..living is to ache and smile and examine every aspect of this crule and sweet world..
Sorry for the long comment..but u make me flood...ma3a enny mesh na2sa:D
Best wishes dear:)
The word Love is over-used, misused and often misunderstood!
Sometimes, life takes us in direction we have not intended to go ... leaving us not as caring and in touch as we once were..it doesn't mean that we didn't mean it when we said 'I'll be there.' or 'I miss you.'
I'm one who strongly believes that one can always make time for others he/she cares about regardless how busy he/she might be...but time proves otherwise!
Samer The part where a guy would say the word to get what he yearns for from a girl , could be true in other societies .. I think ! but , really , why would you tell a friend that you miss him and never call him back for example ? it just doesn't make sense , unless if he rarely comes up on your mind .. and 7amdellah 3assalmeh :).
God Rasha !!! I loved what you said .. this is sooo true .. and yes , we cling to our past , because we hate loosing those good times , laughs and fun we had with those dear people to us .. and true .. life is ache and smile .. :) .. o kol el comment page 3ala 7sabek ;) ..
Hmmm .. this might be true .. but you know what Iman , I think when people were still fresh and young , were eager to hear the word "you know .. Hollywood and movies effects" .. now As one is older , the word should be weighed more , but , saying it does not always mean it .. that is what one figures later ..
and I agree with you , one can always no matter what , find time for those whom her/she really care for and make the call ! or at least return the call or visit ..
and thanks for stepping by my blog :) .. hope to see you around Iman ..
Frankly, I think it's a chick thing! guys will still be friends if they didn't call each other ... even for a long time
My only advice is ...
التمس لأخيك عذرا..
If you're really close, don't wait to hear from them first, initiate it ... be the mature one in the relationship ...
Anyway ... there are many ways to look at the same issue ...
(And allah ysallmek, I already miss Amman)
Mar7aba Danah.
ma 3ayadet 3aleke. so kol 3am we inti be kheir,
Nothing lasts for ever, this is a Rule of our present life, maybe in the past some feeling had a longer life coz it was built on trust, but in present day there is not such a thing so, I mean that coz you dont trust some one even if he/she told ya that miss you or whatever, you even belive it !
hehehehehehehehehe...and yea past days were better than today, and worth more to think about than the future, sad but true !
Could be Samer , guys don't give it much thought as girls do .. and yes , one should always find excuses for friends and dear ones , but sometimes , ppl get used on you to call them and check on them , and forget that they can check on you too .. and you are are right , many ways to look at it !
O enta be alf khair ya rab :) Teslam ya Sharifo
..
Trust is another issue :) .. and if relations go way back intime , then trust and amiaration is surely there , but sometimes people "be3tabo" on each other ..
Danah, good points in your post. i think people should be more honest with what we say and mean..if i say “I Love You” to someone, then i should mean it as it is, it could be different degrees of love that I am meaning, some more than others. Or if i say “i will stand by you no matter what”, then i should be worthy of my promise and come through at hard times to this person, but everything is relative and we might bed misunderstood, we might mean something while others take it differently....but each person should be honest in their words and intentions and show their support to others when it is needed.
Thank you Summer :).. I think the main point I was trying to deliver the time I wrote down those words were that , sometimes , we simply cannot afford keeping those promises we say.. we say them in a specific mental state , and times changes everything , even the way people may feel about each others . but we bind our friends and the ones we care for with those words they spelled , so this is why we simply canot fathom sometimes , how can they not keep them ..
anyway :) that's way too long response , sounds like another post by its own ! ..
Thank you very much for passing by Summer :)
Hey D, all these questions are a part of life as we know it. what's important is not fussing about them, you and i know that there are loads of things that could have been done in much better ways. the important thing is to be who you are and do things the way you think is right, regardless of what that may cost. also, the first step in fixing something is knowing that there's a problem with it. i understand that deception and tricks are very painful as i myself have gone through a few...
what i always say is, $hXX happens, life goes on.
Danah
I think that it in many cases its the social norm that forces people into incorrectly stating their feelings or even plain out laying about them, for example when you ask some one on the phone how are you ? and they say mishta2 ! what the hell, we are used to mojamalat !! this is our problem that people don't expect to be taken seriously they just say the words but don't have the feelings behind them.
But I agree some people don't even mean what they say even in serious situations, at this point you need to judge the character of that person if they say they will be there for and they don't ...do you really want to have such friends ?!
Danah
people understand
we all go through phases of distaration in our lives,the other day i met some old friends from school and we all wondered what happened that made us drift apart,and when we put our heads together ,we found out it was life
things change,some get married some have a job but feelings are there and can be rekindeled again
now love is another thing..its like fire..if u don't put enough logs of wood it will die..efforts shoudl be made every now and then to keep realtionships going
a phone call to a friend might seems so trivial and little but it also might give this friend a cheerful day,you without knowing it made a differance in other people's lives..just don't feel that you alone is the one who should be doing all the work..u do ur part and throw the ball and it will bounce back.
Tealover said: "Is it that we love our past more than present? Is it that we "imagine" that those were a better days and yesterday is a day we lost and can never get back? Then why do we run for our future? Because it will be a past one day?"... I loved this paragraph! yeah... that's true... who among us doesn't say "Sa2allah 3an ayam al madrasa" wala "Sa2allah 3an ayam al jam3a,.." or "sa2allah 3an ayam ma konna nel3ab football belshare3 7ad al bait",... I'll never find sweeter days than the past days.. the present is always dismissed because you already have it, you're experiencing it, but for the past it's like something precious and you lost it!, so you start crying for it...
I guess the part were one should be who he or she is is really important Mazen , but one should think wisely before going through with anything.
Tamara.. true , such mojamalat are part of our culture and nature as well , but here , I was mostly referring to people whom we relate to in different yet close ways .. and you raised a point , if "a friend" cannot be there to stand by the word he/she said, then the whole friendship concept with such person should be revised . but I always have a question going on in my mind .. how come some friends can read you without saying a word , while others wont even notice ..
Very true Mala2e6 , a simple phone call from a friend can make one's day ! and yes, life course puts people in directions were they no longer meet or gather as before , demands of responsibilities adds to them , true .. but sometimes , you simply need to vent about it .. and I think some of what I wrote was venting :) ..
As for love .. I really loved the metaphor of logs feeding the fire ..and I agree with it 100% .
Sami .. you read my thoughts and translated them .. yes , we are experiencing the present , so we fear no loss of it , but as time goes on , we'll realize what a sweet time it "was" .. and we wish to embrace it again ..
7abeebty..vent vent..(fadfedy ya3ni)
i know u were venting..bas coz i vented long time ago,i came to find out that we should be more tolerant when it comes to those we love..
mwa
Danah, You have been tagged on my blog!! check it out:
http://summers57.blogspot.com
Just a comment on the last part of your blog, as there has been written a lot already:
I prefer to enjoy the moment, learn from the past and look forward to the future :).
:) thanks for the extra sweet comment Mala2e6 :)
Summer , I shall be answering your Tag very soon inshallah .. thank you for tagging me.
*eSThER* thats a wise thought :) .. thank you for coming by .
Danah
You have been tagged : ) check my blog
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