Blabber

It’s the first working day after the long vacation of Eid. Surprisingly; I am fully alert and energized! I usually feel mushy after long vacations , more precisely , Eid vacations , because of the intense social activities -visiting and being visited- however, this time was a bit different , having the weekend coming right after Eid , was a good opportunity for relaxation and adjusting back to winter timing , winter weather and getting back to usual after Ramadan life style .

People in the streets seemed relaxed today too , regardless the traffic jam on my way to work today's morning , there were no horns pressing , no shouts and I can swear that I saw some people smiling behind their wheels " speaking of our traditional morning frown here in Jordan , today seemed to be an exception ! " .

I reached work around my usual time, greeted colleagues on my way to my office and then headed to kitchen – I simply like making my own drinks, I feel they taste better and they way I want them rather than having someone else making them for me - to make my long missed mug of hot Nescafe , added my Hazelnut flavored coffee creamer , started sipping it while scanning the stacked emails in my inbox.

They day has passed fast , having a long meeting , then following up with pending matters , I had more than one opportunity to stress about few "work stuff" , however, I passed them pleasantly and maintained my peaceful happy temper.

Yet ,something tells me that the coming days at work , are not going to be easy , many changes have been happening recently , blowing old traditions and messing things up , turning them upside down and I am the kind of person who dread changes , its not that I am not flexible , but I dread the side effects of changes , the unwanted results .

I guess this post is more of a blabber and sharing some inner confused thoughts, especially in the last part . I simply had this need to write something down, spilling out a peace of my mind.

Many returns .. Happy Eid

Through out my life,I have always enjoyed Eid al fiter somewhat more than Eid Al Adha , while Adha is a true Eid for those who are lucky enough to perform the pilgrimage , Fiter is longed for by those who perform fasting of Ramadan , where the first morning of Eid elfiter always has this special taste to the soul and definitely to the tongue !

As a kid, I remember how I used to wake up in the early morning of the first day – actually being awaken by my parents – brushing the sleeplessness off my eyes, and then rush to the kitchen, smelling coffee in the air and then pausing for a moment, making sure its allowed now to drink and eat at day time, It was a bit confusing back then.. :) ..

Then I would go to the living room, checking on Eid cookies " Ka3k & Ma3moul" , and then checking for the REAL craving , the Eid chocolate , managing to slip few pieces of different tastes into my hands to enjoy eating them later .

Maybe, as little kids, we were able to touch the Eid spirit more than the present time, back then our biggest concerns were the Eidieh " Money gifts by parents and relatives" , the Eid presents "especially plastic and water guns. Anyone knows why?" and then visiting our favorite cousins to play around with while our parents chatter with their parents.

Now, however, our concerns are no longer as childish and limited as before, we as grownups are more aware of the world around us, whether locally, neighborly or internationally, we know that while we are celebrating the occasion, there are others whom are deprived of such right, whom face death and oppression on daily basis, and whom kid's biggest dream is being able to walk the neighborhood's street without being terrorized to step back inside their houses.

For those who are forced to miss the Eid spirit, May Allah bless you and grant you peace of mind, peace of land and security , where you should know , that even if we are "celebrating" the Eid , it will never taste festival nor happy until you can , one day be a part of it and taste it equally .

My warmest and deepest wishes of a happy Eid with many returns in Allah's will , with a free Palestine and a peaceful Iraq ..

A Glimpse from past ....

Yesterday, I was looking forward for a lazy evening spending it at home , after being out for two iftars in row for the past two evenings and general lack of sleep , I felt energy consumed , and had nothing in mind other than relaxing . My mother though , had me an invitation to join her in one of the "ladies gatherings" for the old neighborhood , she brought up the matter in the sense of "its up to you " , but you could sense the " I'd like you to come" hidden between the words . The occasion of gathering was celebrating the birth of a child for a girl whom used to be one of my play mates as a kid ! I hesitated at first , then I thought , what the heck , it wont be hectic there , and its going to be a good chance to check on my old neighborhood and see my fully grownup play mate whom I haven't seen for probably over 10-12 years ! so , despite the fact that the whole gathering thing sounded to me of the "ladies thingy" or as we say in Arabic "Nasaweeni" , I decided to go !


We have moved out from that neighborhood about 13 years ago, I've passed by it several times , its not very much away from our residence now, but I haven't peeked on the street we used to live in for a while.
yesterday, when I drove up the street , everything felt smaller , the street itself, the buildings , and there was no more space land where we used to hang out as a little crowd – My brother , I and the whole neighborhood kids- instead , there was this huge residency building filling that small piece of land . the street was way too calm , no spirit ! I remember how we used to spend summer nights all gathered close to our house fence, chattering until we were almost dragged inside the houses by our mothers.


So, I parked the car, and went inside our old neighbor house accompanied by my mother . The visit was not bad at all, actually it was kind of fun, sitting with my old play mate and her sister was somehow refreshing. though I had some of those pause funny moments , where I was sitting , grinning and remembering how me and my play mate used to fool around with the rest of the kids about 14 years ago , she used to be a Tom boy , and I used to be a Tom boy wannabe :) , she oversized me , that’s why I always thought I was more delicate than she is and it took me an effort to prove that I can be a Tom boy too! she used to say "I'd never get married , marriage sucks !" and she is the one who got married first and now she's with a little sweet girl by her hand s!

Oh boy , we were happy children .

Answering a Tag "Childhood memories"

I've been tagged by Qwaider few days ago to list my five favorite things that I miss mostly about my childhood , I have to say , I am still living it in many aspects , and it was not until recently , like two years ago , that I gave up on buying my Favorite comic magazine Mickey (Egyptian edition) , I still don't mind flipping the pages and having few innocent laughs though , if it ever dropped by my hands ! So, having your childish moments is a part of adulthood, one shouldn't forget how to be a child .





Here are my five favorite things that I miss mostly about my childhood, mentioned with no specific order :

1. Summer trips to home town Nablus ; almost every summer in the early years of my life , my mother used to take us , my brother and I -we used to be two back then ,- in a 2 weeks upto one month trip to Nablus , we used to split our nights between the two grandparents houses , we used to get special treat back then , spoiled up by our aunts and uncles , and we used to have the fun of our life playing all the time with our cousins , in the garden of the house , visiting the old town with my aunt and dropping by the soap factory with my mother .

2. My brother and I creative games ; we used to create our own games , we would see an action movie , then copy it out the next day , creeping between the chairs and sofa's with fake guns in our hands , chasing bad guys , and being chased with our mother to cool the game down ! we used to turn his room into tents and play voyagers & nomads . And we used to put spongy cubes up to the ceiling in my room and climb all the way up , to jump into a ground full of pillows and soft mattress ! I still wonder how we did not break a leg or a neck !

3.My old neighborhood, especially at Eid mornings ; after receiving the "Eidieh" , my brother and I used to go to the nearby supermarket , buy the fake guns , and join the gang in the bang bang !until we get drived away by our parents to go into thefamily visits routine of the Eid .

4.Spending Wednesdays evenings reading adventure books "known as Al3'az"; we used to have Thursday and Friday off back then as a weekend . so after coming back from school and having lunch , my mother used to drive me to the bookshop, where I'd buy a couple of adventure books along with Agatha Christy's adventure books , I used to be addicted to her style !

5.The ultimate belief that my parents are superhumans and that they have the answer for every little and big question that may occur to my mind.

My friends & I .. personal thought

Today , was the big day for our annual Iftar gathering . We have made it a tradition since the second year in university that every Ramadan , no matter what , we would find the time to gather and meet for a pleasant iftar meal . Back then ,when we started it , we were still students, we had low budget to manage with , therefore, we had to stick to the fast meal restaurants , I remember our first iftar gathering was in Pizza Hut Abdoun , we were 9 girls , we had so much fun that day , and I remember how we went right after that to Tche Tche Abdoun , for coffees , teas and argeeleh . Tche Tche Abdoun is no longer there, I've passed by Abdoun circle a while ago , and the sign was no longer hanging there . It felt a bit weird, We had such sweet warm memories attached with that place that goes back to university days, I guess nothing stays the same , even places change .

As years passed, the group no longer had nine in it , it got lessen , some got married and traveled and some were swept away with life matters and sadly no longer kept the strings attached . Its really weird how this part happens, have you given it some thought on how close people can drift away ? Anyway, the core four of that group remained together, and followed the tradition in every Ramadan since the first time. And along the way , we gained new members to our group.


We were eagerly looking for the get together this year, because it has been a while since we've gathered all ,and got totally engaged in a cozy warm chatter , not worrying about anything else other that those few hours we had together . We all needed the escape into each others company .I was feeling extra relaxed today with my friends . I had such a good time , that at some point I wanted the time to freeze and let me feel this serenity with all my senses. I simply wish that we will be always able to continue with this sweet tradition , and we will always remain the best of friends , I love you girls .

Have you ever ?

Have you ever had something in your mind and heart , that you wanted deeply , you've grew up believing that you can have it all , whatever your thought or dream was , there are no barriers to keep it away from you , its only a matter of time ,for there is nothing that cannot be done or fulfilled , have you ever felt that ?

Have you ever been in that state, where you were able to almost touch your dreams , taste their sweetness and live them vividly?

Have you ever felt like you could be chasing a shadow?

Have you ever felt like wanting something or someone bad, believing that this is all what you want and whom you want in every aspect you want, to realize that you're alone on that boat?

Have you thought of tomorrow always as a better day to come, but always woke up to taste the same bitterness of yesterday's under your tongue?

Have you ever planned your life, calculated the events in each and every passing year, to realize later that you can exhale for the reason that your calculations and your plans are merely a suggestion to an already set plan?

Have you ever felt like crying a river, as hard and loud as you can, but to no one ears but your creator, for HE will never judge you , for HE will only hear you and comfort you ?

Have you ever felt, like wanting someone to see through you, read you without a sounding word?

Have you ever been lost in your path, tripping by the pebbles of your thoughts, dreams, hopes, because you keep on missing your way with all those hanged confusing signs?

Have you ever felt you have the forever to re-right your mistakes and correct your tendencies, to be hit afterwards that there is nothing called " forever that I have" , there is only now to start with , for when forever comes it will be too late?

Oh .. have you ?

Shopping sceneries .. مشاهدات من السوق

بنتين داخلين على محل بشارع الوكالات طبعا الحكي بيناتهم على سياسة " اهلية محلية" , كل اللي حواليهم بالمحل

كان الهم مشاركة سمعية فعالة

البنت الأولى :اه ..لا انا اليوم ما صمت .. بس مش عارفة ليه هيك حاسة حالي تعبانة , بس اروح من السوق بدي ارجع اتغدى .. جوعانة !

البنت التانية :سلامتك ... ياي !!!! شوفي شو منزلين عالنيو كولليكشن !!! حبيت بنطلونات الجينز هدول .. مش عم بتدوري على واحد انتي ؟

البنت الأولى: اه .. ياي .. قصتهم فايعة ... هييي .. بليز , تعطيني مقاس تسعة و عشرين

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الشاب اللي في المحل : اه اكيد .. بس هدول قصتهم و مقاساتهم ضيقة شوية .. فحعطيكي تلاتين

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البنت ألاولى بتاخد المقاس تلاتين و بتتسهل على غرفة القياس .. و برجع الكل بيلتهي باللي كان فيه ..بعد شوية ,, بطلع صوت البنت التانية : وااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااووووو .. حبيتو عليكي . جد .. كتيييير نايس عليكي يا نورية

!طبعا مع هيك تعليق .. كللو ترك اللي باديه و رجع يتطلع على الموديل الوااااااو

البنت الاولى : لأ ولك وييين الواااو بالموضوع ! ما حبيتو .. شوفي شو منصحني .. كتيييير بقرانة انا
شوفي شو بيخزي عليي!

هون اللي كان سامع و مش شايف بقرب اكتر حتى يتأكد انو مش واااو البنطلون

البنت الاولى بتطللع بالشاب اللي اعطاها البنطلون و بتقوللو : و انتا كيف شايف ؟ . ... و بتفتل حوالين حالها ..

طبعا الشاب كان من الأساس متمسمر جنب غرفة القياس من قبل ما تقيس البنطلون .. الشاب بيجاوب : لا كتيييييييييييير حلو عليكي .. يعني المقاس عليكي بالزبط ..

صاحبتها بترجع بتأكد كلامو و بتهز براسها و بتقوللها : بعدين ولك هبلة انتي !!! كللو اربعين دينار .. لقطة !

البنت الأولى : لأ لأ... اتطللعي شو منصحني ..مش معئولة انا شو اني صايرة بقرة .. اتطللعي هون . و كمان هون !!! لا لا .. و بتدخل على غرفة القياس .

بعد دقيقتين .. بتطلع و بتزت البنطلون بوجه الشاب ..
الشاب ييسألها : شو ؟؟ اوكي البنطلون ؟
!!!!البنت الأولى بتجاوب : لأ , مش اوكي ابدا !!!!! بدي اعمل رجيم قاسي .. برجعلك بس انحف

طبعا بيطلعو البنتين مع ضحك الشباب اللي بالمحل .. و حوقلة الأمهات اللي مع بناتهم

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My personal comment:

I have seen many situations, more or less, of the same content I posted above. I have few things that I cannot get about them:

1. The loud tone of speaking and laughing they use once they get into the store..
- The bad naming of each other, as if being friends or cool with someone, gives them the authority of bad mouthing each other publicly or even in private , thinking it makes them "cuter" .
2. The obvious attempt to make everyone around an audience of there little "funny" charade.
3. The obvious insensible and inconsiderable nature of their conversation, plus to the clear lack of good manners.

It is understandable that in teenage years , boys and girls are a bit wild in their behaviors , but its not only them , even fully grown up women these days are caught in such situations !The way I see it , this is not a personal choice or a freedom issue , to me it is simply bad manners , lack of discipline and observation , and nothing really justify it .

A yearly trip

I am inviting you to join me in a very short trip , Interested to come along? Then, Hop on board, I promise , it wont take you long. Okay, Now you are a bit back in time, not too much, say, two months back, why two months? no specific reason, we can make them three, you can actually pick the time you want and the day you want, but we are not looking for "any" day, I need you to go back with me to that day, when you were in your office, everything around was noisy and chaotic , and the main street outside was adding to your agony and your brains are about to explode . Oh! you have a very calm office , okay then , you can choose your venue , it can be a party with loud annoying music , speakers just behind your head and music adding to your throbbing headache , it can be your house , but in a very tensed day , it can be any place and anytime , but where you have this discomfort with the atmosphere around you , your thoughts are all mixed up , and you simply cannot focus on anything , too much outside jam of noises and clatter to the limit you cannot hear yourself thinking , and all you wish for is simply an hour of peacefulness , so that you can gather your thoughts and clear up your mind . Been there before ?

Okay , now I want you to apply the above on a bit wider time scheme , say a whole year , where you are lost in the track of days , you are living this discomfort over and over , not necessarily on daily basis , but lets say , a great deal of it , you know your life is a mess one way or another , you look back to that year , and you see your soul lost in your life's knotted traffic .

Your prayers are short and abrupt , your promised nights of reading those versus of Quran are never kept , your schemes for spending more time on looking up the real needy in this world and try to reach them with some backup and reinforcement have never left your brain's blueprint to the real ground . In short, you feel guilt and you are not satisfied if not ashamed of your whole religious performance for the past year , and you need a break , actually you need more than that , you need a beginning .

Time passes fast, and Ramadan is right behind the corner, you think. You can smell it in the air before it starts, and you long for it, a whole month where you can wash your sins, where you can strengthen your relation with your creator, and with your inner soul , and renew your acquaintance with those small bits that you seem to forget.

The holy month begins, and your demons are trapped. It’s the moment of truth, its you and your inner self to demonstrate and rule, and you realize few changes , you seem to keep the dawn prayer more than before, your tongue seems to love reciting the versus of Quran , your heart aches and soften for those touchy prayers you hear . You stay sleepless and teary at nights, revising your past year, you pray to Allah to pick you from your astray-ness and lost-ness .You sense the change and you wish to maintain until after the holy month breaks.

For some, the New Years Eve stands for the beginning of a new life where new resolutions are made, and new promises are taken to keep, but for others, Ramadan, the whole month of it , represents all of that in addition to a soul vacation from the chaotic world behind , offering a decent space to review and hear self thoughts loud as well as having another chance of a new fresh beginning.

Ramadan Kareem , and Allah's Bless.

Harra2 beosba3o recipe وصفة الحراق باصبعه بالعجين

وصفة الحراق باصبعه بالعجين

وعدت من شي اكثر من اسبوع ان انشر وصفة الحراق باصبعه . هاي الوصفة , اصلها والله اعلم شامي , و اكله شتوية لأنها بتعطي طاقة , مقاديرها بسيطة و تطبيقها سهل كتير

الوصفة بالاجمال مأخوذة من كتاب "ألف بـاء الطبخ" , لكن بتصرف !! لأنو في اجتهادات من ماما ممكن تكون اعطتها شي زيادة . بكل الأحوال , انا بدي اكتب الوصفة , و انتوا برجع لكم تجربوها

مقادير الحراق باصبعه
واحد كوب عدس غير مجروش , يعني حب صحيح
اثنان بصل كبير
اثنان فص ثوم
باقة من الكزبرة الخضراء
فنجان زيت نباتي المعيار هو فنجان قهوة , يعادل تقريبا خمسة و سبعون مل
فنجان من دبس الرمان او ممكن يعرف برب الرمان
فنجان من عصير الليمون , غير المحلى طبعا
رشة بهار ممكن استبدالها برشة فلفل اسود لمن يريد , معيار الرشة تابع للذوق الشخصي
رغيف من خبز الشراك , او اي خبز رقيق متوافر , ممكن تورتيلا

مقادير العجين
واحد كوب طحين
نصف كوب ماء او اكثر بقليل , بحيث لا يلتصق العجين
رشة ملح خفيفة

تحضير العجين
يعجن العجين باضافة الماء و الطحين و الملح تدريجيا , يخلط باطراف الأصابع , و يعجن الى ان يصبح طريا متماسكا لا يلتصق بالأصابع . يرش طحين على السطح الذي سيتم رق العجين عليه , يرق العجين على شكل رغيف كبير و رقيق , ثم طي العجين الى طيات ثم يقطع بالعرض الى حبال عرضها واحد سم, ثم تققطع الحبال الى مربعات.

تحضير الحراق باصبعه

بعد ان ينقى العدس من الأوساخ و يغسل , يتم وضعه على النار مع اضافة حوالي تسعة اكواب من الماء ,طهي البقوليات يستهلك كمية لا بأس بها من الماء. يمكن استخدام طنجرة الضغط لسرعة الطهي. لكن قبل اغلاقها , يتم اأنتظار حتى تغلي الماء او تقارب على الغليان , حيبها يتم اضافة العجين المقطع و فنجان الزيت النباتي. يحكم اغلاق الطنجرة الى ان يستوي العدس بحيث يصبح طريا لكن ليس مهروسا.

في انتظار العدس لكي يستوي , يتم تقطيع البصل الى شرائح رقيقة بعد تقشيره, ثم يحمر في الزيت الحار الى ان يقارب لونه الذهبي , عندها يرفع البصل و يتم الابقاء على الزيت و حيث سيتم استخدامه لاحقا.

تغسل وتفرم الكزبرة ناعما , ثم يدق الثوم مع رشة ملح خفيفة , تلوح الكزبرة و الثوم في الزيت , ثم تطفأ النار عنها

بعد ان يستوي العدس,بحيث يصبح طريا لكن ليس مهروسا , تفتح الطنجرة , و يضاف دبس الرمان , و الليمون و رشة البهار و الملح , الأخيران حسب التفضيل و الذوق , يحرك الحراق قليلا ثم يترك لكي يتسبّك , يمكن اضافة الماء حسب الحاجة اذا كان جامدا. يكوون قامه متماسك ليس مرقا جدا ولا جامدا.
في هذه الأثناء . يتم اضافة مصفى زيت قلي البصل بدون شرائح البصل , و مصفى زيت الكزبرة و الثوم بدونها ايضأ , لذا عند القلي , يمن تزويد كمية الزيت , لهذا الاستخدام السابق. هذه الاضافة لاعطاء نكهة مميزة . و يتم التحريك , و يكون بهذا قد استوى.
يتم تقطيع الخبز بمقص الخبز الى مربعات صغيرة , و قليها

يسكب الحراق باصبعه في وعاء زجاجي او فخاري , يتم تزيين الوجه بالبصل المقلي و الكزبرة و الثوم المقليين , ثم ينثر الخبز القلي على الوجه . ممكن ابقاء مواد التزيين في اوعية اخرى و عدم نثرها على سطح الحراق , حسب ما بتفضلو
وصحتين و عافية
كلمة اخيرة , هاي اول مرة بطبع بالعربي هالقد!!! و انهلكت !!!! بس حبيت اشارككم بهاي الأكلة :) و ان شاء الله تحبوها

Random Ramadani craving : Tarabolsieyh

Today is slow , very slow ! The past two days were running without a leash, obviously, because my hands were full with ASAP-must–be-done tasks .However today is moving like a turtle ! It could be because I do not have lots of work to do, actually I have few things that need to be done, you know those little scattered tasks that you know you should finish and if anyone asks about it , you'll shove your hand and say "Uh , piece of cake! I'll be done with it in no time " and then you realize its accumulating into a group of small irritating tasks that you need to be done with , your subconscious is telling you are being silly putting them away and you should be done with them ,but you are simply stalling, because you don't feel like it today ! How unprofessional!

Anyway, that's not where I was intending to go with this post. Actually, I wanted to talk about a food craving that I had. Yesterday, I had the most consuming craving for an Arabic sweet called Tarabolsieyh** I was sitting on my desk doing some work , everyone was talking about food and sweets "the main chatter in Ramadan , next to religious issues ,family visits , TV shows and everybody's lack of proper sleep " and of course Atayef had to be mentioned , Atayef with cheese ,Atayef with walnuts and some new revolutionary Atayef with apples and raisins ( right !!! With apples and raisins. it made me wonder about its taste! Sounds like a good combination with cinnamon and melted sugar, but as an atayef ! hmm , I should try it and see ) and in the middle of everybody's talk I was haunted with the thought of Tarabolsieyh , I suddenly was able to smell , taste and chew it in my mind ! The smell , the memorized taste of sweetened pistachios under my teeth and whipped cream , all over made my mouth water , and I kept seeing pieces of Tarabolsieyh flying around me at work ! The case were food flies around me happened before, it could get as bad as seeing people with food heads!

Its funny how our bodies respond to cravings, like for example, whenever someone mentions lemons and salt, my mouth wont stop watering! But you know what is even funnier, is how mind ties some foods to specific occasions or people. In the case of Tarabolsieyh , I only had this kind of sweet at one of my friends house , when she used to invite me over for Iftar each Ramadan , Tarabolsieyh was the first sweet we start with after finishing Iftar and starting the tea and coffee session . My friend got married and moved out of Jordan, and the memory of me and her having Tarabolsieyh remained with me in every Ramadan. A part of my craving might be well explained by the fact; I miss her ever since she has traveled away.


Of course, after work I went straight to the only bakery that prepares it in Amman, grabbed some to have after Iftar , you can see below the single remaining piece !

**( It is a sweet , I am guessing Lebanese from the town of Tripoli , as you can see from the name. It consists of two parts the lower is smellier to ma3omoul be fosto2 7alabi and the upper is a type of whipped cream called Natef , however, these days they are using the ordinary whipped cream )

(Tarabolsieyh)

Blew it out

She blew it out, she blew it out for sure . Just like every other time someone tried to get closer. She always manages to get to this point were all her senses freezes. And were she gets defensive. She simply thinks that any attempt from anyone to get more acquainted with her is, fearful.

She was sitting in her office, staring at the screen in front of her , it was noon time , everybody in her office was out for lunch . However, she had no apatite. Her day did not start good. She did not have good night sleep either. Today simply feels like a long extension of yesterday. She tilted her head back in an effort of soothing her tired neck muscles, and she managed to close her eyes for few seconds, they are burning with exhaustion and lack of sleep. She rotated her chair towards the window so that anyone passing by her office door won't see her napping. And she tried to relax her body. Just for few minutes, she needs to concentrate in her report, she has a lot of figures to solve and distribute. She took a deep breathe , and folded her arms on her chest . But in few seconds, she realized that her attempt is useless, her thoughts were magnifying now, and his face is haunting the blackness scene of her closed eyes.

She drifted again in her thoughts .She believes that she has a serious problem when it comes to relations, she thought. She always manages to get friendly and pleasant with people around her, she knows how to build bridges, but she is surely more knowledgeable in how to ruin them if someone crossed a specific area , she usually have a good judgment of people whom she meets . But every time a guy approaches her and tries to get closer, she feels that her security ground is falling apart. She tries, but she always fails. She really feels like she wants to get to know this person . She wants to go for may be something further, but something always holds her back. And that was the case with him.

She knew him through her work, where she occasionally met with him in different events and meetings. She remembers first time she saw him , did not really leave a mark in her mind , back then , all she knew was him working closely within same domain as hers . The next time, he was attending this rally, she remembers that she was standing with some colleagues, when she heard someone saying "Hi Salma' , keifek ? " (Hi Salma , how are you ?) .. She turned to see who was greeting her, the voice was familiar to her ears, and she found him stretching his open hand to shake hers. Back then, he managed to keep close from her during lunch time, and he appeared to know some of her colleagues, so he joined the group table, and before the day ends, he made sure to give her his card and she of course had to give him hers in exchange. That day, she made this mental remark of this guy, nothing much underneath it, the words nice, humorous and gentle flashed in her mind. She ran up to him coincidently several times after that , in different occasions , business and randomly in her hang outs with her friends , her mental remark was fatting up now , she had much more other terms now , he is cute, lovely chatter , smart , elegant and extremely polite.

She always sensed something more behind his welcoming enchanting behavior when she was around , she caught him staring at her more than once , but as usual , with all childish idiocy of hers , she never matched back the look , she had this unbelievably annoying tendency of being shy and instant blushing , and she hated it when she blushed , and she thought that by never matching his look , that she is giving him more space , and that she is saving him and her from awkwardness of the gaze , she thinks now , she has always done that , she simply cannot get over this childish habit .

she grew fonder about him, every time she saw him. but never able to show her fondness. Her shyness and lack of relationships experience made it hard for her to let him see that she also cared. However , she thought he has to read her mind , he surely read it , even at that one time when he tried to ask her out and she refused , he had to understand that it was not about rejecting him , it was simply her shy nature , she deemed he understood her.
Not long after that, he stopped showing around, and coincidences of random meetings were not there anymore.

Months passed, she thought of calling him, but again, her shyness was her drawback, "what would she say? Will he care ? Where was he ? why is not he showing up or calling anymore ?" she remained perplexed with her thoughts , until yesterday's evening . She was out with her mother shopping around household stuff, when she recognized this tall figure by the far end of the show table, it was him! he was standing there examining some china , her eyes glowed and she was about to overcome her shyness and go to say hi , just to realize that he was not alone , or more like , he was no longer alone . There was a nice looking girl standing next to him, holding his hand picking up the China with him. It was only then , when she saw , that she was too late and he was no longer available .

Someone knocked on the open door; she opened her eyes and turned her chair back facing the comer, ah, office boy delivering some mail envelopes to her. She thought she needed a cup of coffee to sober, But she headed first towards the toilet, washed her tired face and cupped her eyes with her iced water filled hands , trying to disguise tears she no longer was able to hold , going back to square one in her thoughts .. She surely blew it.

Guess what .. You've been "TAGGED" !

Obviously, there is some "tagging" activity going on the blog-sphere these days , where each fellow blogger tags another fellow blogger to answer this some sort of "Blog questionnaire " , and you are right , I have been tagged , by my blog-friend the caller http://thecaller.jeeran.com/nadaha , Thank you :).

( and on a totally irrelevant subject .. I wish I knew how you guys make a link , tried that but failed awfully , it would look much nicer than putting the real link into the post , I know ! well , I guess I'll make it one day by error and trial !)

And before I'd start answering the questions , I only want to note one thing , that's it's been less than 4 months for me blogging in , yet , I find myself feeling more comfortable about writing and posting as time passes , although , I have to say at the beginning , I thought I would give up fast .

Now , moving to the questions :

1- Do you like the look and the contents of your blog?
Generally, yes. Though, there are few things I wish if I can change , like , the line width and how can I add a picture to the top of my blog page , you know , these sort of "only IT people would know " things . Can anyone give me tips on that?

2- Does your family know about your blog?
Nope , I am not sure if they would be interested , but I would bring it up , if we ever discussed blogs !

3- Can you tell your friends about your blog? do you consider it a private thing?
Well, I have mentioned it to a couple of close friends, not to everybody though, the thing is, people wont be interested about "the thing" unless if they have the same passion you have for it.

4- Do you just read the blogs of those who comment on your blog? Or you try to discover new blogs?
Both , I am always interested in viewing the blogs of whoever leaves a comment on my blog , it's not like I have a traffic jam here :) , so it's easy to check them out , and I do check new blogs every now and then , whom with a short time , I become a frequent reader and commenter of as well .

5- Did your blog positively effected your mind? give an example.
Yes, somehow , it has given me a window with a new and different view to the world , to my thoughts , and to the concerns of others ..

6- What does the number of visitors to your blog mean?do you use a traffic counter?
Well , the number does not necessarily mean "something". But ,whenever I see the number of visitors coming up , I smile childishly to my screen ! Nope, I do not have a counter other than what's provided by the blogging service itself.

7- did you imagine how other bloggers look like?
Yes, if they did not have pictures posted on their blogs , and the imagination is always influenced by their writings .

8- Do you think blogging have any real benefit?
For me , yes , otherwise , I would've stopped long time ago.

9- Do you think that the blogsphere is a stand alone community separated from the real world?
No, it's is another shade of communication in this world , sometimes, people can elaborate better in writing , without having any drawbacks to keep them from it .

10- Do some political blogs scare you?do you avoid them.
Well, no , I tend to brows a lot , and read from here and there , why should I be scared though ?!
11- Do you think that criticizing your blog is useful?
In a way, it could be useful.

12-Have you ever thought about what happen to your blog in case you died?
No , haven't reached to that stage .

13- Which blogger had the greatest impression on you?
Everyone I read for ,affected me differently , I realized how some of us can be so much alike , and how can we be so much different , and that , in some things , we are never alone . also, it’s a mind opener , the debate that goes on different topics , can stimulate ones mind for looking for truth

14- Which blogger you think is the most similar to you .
I have a name :) .. but naaa , I am not going to write it down.

15- Name a song you want to listen to ?
Actually, two songs " Ba3dak 3ala bali – Fairooz) and, (Habibi – Julia Botross).

16- Ask five bloggers to answer these questions on their blogs?
Well, guys, it has been sort of fun answering these questions, so , don't hate me for tagging you :) .. I heard that you are obligated to answer once you're tagged .. so .. have fun !

Tamara
Summer
Hareega
ABOUD
LotusGem

( P.S of course no one is obligated you should do it only if you felt like it )

Busted !

I knew this ought to happen sooner or later, someone will recognize something, a title, a photo , a little piece of info. , anyone accidentally dropping by my blog .
Well , to start with , I knew that most of my friends don't really blog or know about this blogging community thing .Actually , I was the one who brought this matter up to them in different occasions , and some has heard of it , some never heard of it , all in all , no one seemed to be that interested in knowing what could it be about . So , I thought , well , no harm to stay anonymous , only known through my blog ID , and the posts that I write down every now and then .

" Masks we hide behind"

Some of us , may have came clean about their identities letting everybody know who they are , and what they do in life , sharing sometimes the intimate details about their daily routine . while, others may have enrolled into this blogging habit, as an escape, writing down whatever, they want, to discuss, to share or feel, knowing that they could be wandering all by their own on their blogsphere , or they could be fortunate enough to have others feel interested about what they bring out on their spaces , and pay them a visit every now and then Yet , they manage keeping a decent space between them and the people whom they interact with behind the blogging ID's.

"The mysterious us "

So when it comes to the internet world, no matter how individuals try to keep their anonymity, there will be someone who would recognize them. And in so many cases , we provide the tools to be recognized .We may have started with a low profile , but with time , we tend to leak scattered pieces of information here and there , that would make the pick up and the gather of it easily achieved .And sometimes , we may do this unconsciously , wanting –in our deep inner selves- someone to recognize us .

Getting personal ..

So far , the day started well , I am in a good mood , having my daily " work days " Nescafe , but haven't got into work mood yet . Still , I am not really worried about that , because I have finished a good deal of work last week and yesterday , So today , I can breathe a bit , and spare sometime writing something new .. Actually, it's not my idea, I kind of borrowed Tamara's idea http://labyrinth-of-the-soul.blogspot.com , she shed some light on her personal life yesterday by showing us one corner of it , her desk :) ! which can tell some about the person sitting behind . In my case here and generally speaking , my desk is messy.. I admit! Lots of meaningful and meaningless work papers scattered here and there, with a promise in my head that, I will drop by my work one weekend to clean it all up ! but , I guess that is not happening anytime soon , I've made that promise over 4 months ago !




In the first picture , you can see the "meaningful and meaningless work papers piled up " to the far right of the picture , and believe me , that's a good day office look , then you can see my Mexican patterned Nescafe mug , obviously, my Agenda , my screen and keyboard , and some of my work bodies – the little toys here and there , and yes , I still have my childish moments , and often speak to Claire , the little doll with that big head , sitting on my mobile chair , she has been with me ever since I started working , right after graduation , so , you can say she gets me , because she has seen it all :) . Now , left to the screen , you can see Mr. Sponge Bob , with other toys , collected from various "kids meals" deliveries , , and NO , it's not about the toys ..I just happen to find the size of those meals satisfactory !! really !

Now in the second photo, you can have a glance on how messy it could get sometimes, with "meaningful and meaningless work papers scattered allover " , obviously, Claire is having a bad day as well ..

Well , I guess I'd better start the real work now :) .. and I will be dropping new posts , soon .. I promise ..

Sometimes .. It's too late

Sometimes , as we walk the course of life , we get too busy or involved with the road , that we no longer notice the signs ,sometimes , we see chances waving for us , but we stand numb and think , should we go and pick it or should we not , we observe it ,we study it from a distance , we analyze it , except when we are ready for it , it would no longer be there , it would have flown away, with no return .

Sometimes we may run into people whom sounded right from the first sight , that we instantly mark them in our minds and hearts , that we feel a mutual connection and bond just right there , yet ,to reach a state of confusion and reluctant-ness after sometime , thinking that we could have jumped into a dream , that we assembled in our meditations.

And sometimes , we meet the right persons , but we let them go , just because reluctant-ness and confusion were the first thing we felt about them , then to our surprise ,as we head towards a better understanding of our feelings towards them , and reach a more comfortable area , it could simply be too late for them , they have waited for you too long ,and you missed the flight to their hearts .

In early years of maturity, the heart is always open for more and more experiences, the youth and freshness, are there to keep the good faith about people around, and to maintain the heart. However, as one grows old into this life, a layer of rustiness and yellowness covers most of the vents to the core of it. It won't be easy to fall in love, mind you believe it's there. Your mind simply occupies a larger piece, and runs your feelings instead of your heart. And its then only then , is when you miss the chance , because you no longer feel , you only see and match , while it takes more to shake the rust off your heart . It may need more time more intensity or simply a different path to tackle those small remaining fresh bits in the pile of rustiness, but it simply would be too late.

George Galloway & SKY news

Check the link below and view the video to know what I am talking about .

I came across this link , which I believe many of you have seen , and probably many of you share the same idea I had when I finished seeing and hearing this interview .

I simply have to say, I have never seen a man - who is not of an Arab origin- defending our causes the way this man did.

I know that some will probably say, that George Galloway has one been a parliament member in British parliament , so he might be looking for publicity of fame, and this is why he is adopting such causes . whether this is the case or not , this man sounded sincere to the bone in his argument with the SKY news interviewer , he simply said it loud and clear , he spelled out my thoughts , he knew what to say and how to say it .

I urge you , the ones who have not seen it to check this link , and hear the whole interview , I guarantee you , you will love it !

http://news.sky.com/skynews/video/videoplayer/0,,31200-galloway_060806,00.html

and for ones who got curious to know more about Galloway , please find below a link to his biography. The man has been an activist in Palestinian and Lebanese causes for a long time .

http://www.georgegalloway.com/bio.html

I admit .. I don't know how to manage my time !

This post is more like a personal thought , I am sure that most of you have came across this in their lives ,but for me this was a first , and I have to say , it has affected me in a way or another in considering some decisions for things in my future .


For the past few weeks, I have been totally immersed in my life, I had to attend a workshop right after my work, add to that the family obligations that used to pope up mostly as long late summer nights visits during the week days, and then the reading that I had to do for the next day , and the usual round on internet that I am accustomed to do just before going to bed. I used to function for almost 16-18 hours a day , which I know now , some of you will go and say , " well, welcome to the real life , a 16 hours is the minimum of our stuffed days !" but I have to say , I am not used to this , my body was acting horribly , my eating habits went over the edge , I had zero concentration , I was not finding time to exercise , and I was always longing for more and more sleep and relaxation . Weekends, were simply wasted on having more sleep just to be barely able to function the very next day . And I had almost zero communication with my friends. Bottom line, I felt like a total wreck !


Mentioning all of the above , I realized that , I have passed through this for a small period of time , yet , I had a great difficulty adjusting myself and life to it , I tried to cope , however, I was looking forward for the end of this period and going back to my old routine life . I also realized, that some of us have to go through such a working phase for almost every single day in their life , working – sometimes- over 16 hours a day , having families to support , and a career to maintain .


Moreover, I realized , that time is precious, and we do not really think of how important it is , or could be until we suffer the shortage in it , and when a day passes ,as if it was a couple of hours .

I have to admit, I usually take my time for granted , I totally suck when it comes to time management , I simply wish if I can start a list of my daily "do's" and start working by them ,but I am not quiet sure that I will be able to go by the list. I know that some of you do that already, I need a hint a trick, or an experience where you were also bad in time management but you turned into experts in handling your time. So , feel free to share you thoughts with me , and I will be happy to read it and learn from you .

Mental escape of the day

I am craving for a break ! I need a break .. seriously .. everything around me is driving me nuts .. And it consumes a lot of my remaining energy to follow up my work and do everything that I am supposed to be doing, time is simply flying when you need it most . Its in such times that I have this crazy fantasy of running away to some little cottage in a mountain with a lake outside and lots of green bushes around, fresh clean air , no pollution or street noises , only calmness and peacefulness all around , where I can go sit on the shady terrace with a nice book and have nothing to worry about in my mind other than the moment I am living .. Wouldn't that be neat !?

I do realize the fact that such combination only exists in my dreams, obviously ,because I cannot run on my own , moreover, there are mountains but no lakes here in Jordan , and finally , I don't have a cottage house!!

I think I'll have to accept the fact that my warm tea mug next to me along with these lines are the only logical escape I will be having for the rest of the day ..

Lost her forever ..

Sitting on his bed.. with both hands resting on his knees .. Gazing into the emptiness of the blue sky ahead of him .. Thinking that its only a matter of hours and she'll belong to another man.. a stranger whom only knew her for few months .. and whom now is justified to hold her , kiss her and dance with her .. While he would be lucky if he got to shake her hand anymore.. he closed his eyes .. laid on his back folding one hand behind his head and putting the other on his chest somewhere near to his heart .. diving into a sea of sweet innocent memories with her .. she was his cousin .. and she was his childhood companion and the infant love of his seventeen years old heart .. they all lived in one big building with their grandparents on the ground floor , while his father and each one of his uncles inhabiting one floor of the six story building .. he was one year older than what she was .. a year difference was huge back then .. when they all were little children .. and when he was her guardian angle .

They had a lot of cousins .. one big noisy loud funny young gang they were .. they all used to gather and play in the garden till late midnight time in the summer .. and in school nights they used to go down to their grandparents just after they finish their homework and circle around their teita ,, while she was telling them those wild stories of ogres ,Genies and the treasure chests .. she used to sit next to him and burry her little head in his chest whenever she is scared of the tale .. and he used to put his little arm around her shoulders to grant her a better sense of security as long as she was by his side .. Then when its bed time and they all climb the stairs to their houses and beds , he would dream of saving her of those ugly ogres and finding the treasure ... and she was always by his side .. whenever they went to the nearby store for some chips and gum , he would always grab her hand and keep her to the inner side of the road, away from cars .. he simply felt obligated and responsible of her ..

Years passed .. and they grew up .. she was blossoming .. turning into this divine young woman .. while he was struggling unsuccessfully to hide those annoying squeaks of his semi child semi masculine voice .. they were not allowed to play closely anymore .. and she was spending more time with the older female cousins now .. away from the other cousins and away from him .. yet .. whenever they were all together she used to keep close to him .. until last winter .. he was on his way out to meet a friend .. when he noticed two ladies with a young man whom he did not recognize approaching the gate .. he did not give it a lot of thought and went on his way .. a week later .. her engagement was announced ! a news that came as a falling rock on his head .. he couldn't believe his ears nor his eyes .. she was only sixteen ! and she was getting engaged to a 27 years old man .. and he cannot do anything about it ! he has no car .. he has no job .. he has no house .. and above all he is still a student .. whom is deprived of his love ..

Aware of the horns noises outside.. he opened his eyes .. and slowly got up from his bed .. he put on the suite jacket .. took one last look in the mirror on his pale face .. then stopped by his drawer .. opened it .. grabbed that yellowish old photo of her sitting on his lap ten years ago .. Registering in his mind that this was the closest he ever got … and that he lost her .. forever.

Sleepless Sunday nights!

I am "sniffing" my Nescafe waiting for the aroma to penetrate through my nostrils caressing those sleepy nerves in my mind, and then sipping this purposely condensed hot drink in another attempt to wake up!

I simply hate Sunday nights.. I went to bed relatively late last night.. I always have this insomnia on Sunday nights as well as on every night with a holiday before.. No matter what .. I always end up awake with a meaningless struggle with my bed sheets to sleep.. so last night I laid my head on my pillow .. Relaxed my body .. Read the Quran versus I am supposed to read.. closed my eyes .. and waited for the sleep fairy to come and put me into the half dead half alive state .. I am waiting.. waiting.. waiting.. Nothing is happening .. turned to the other side .. tried to empty my head of thoughts .. not working ! okay .. lets count sheep .. my imagination is worked up a little and I am picturing the field where the sheep are eating , shape of fence they are going to jump off , state of weather.. blue sky with few white clouds scattered here and there .. great !! DETAILS ! meaning .. very alert mind .. no way to get any sleep .. fine.. Turn to the other side .. Now I am feeling hot .. no breeze coming from the window .. and I am too lazy to get up and splash some water over my face to cool down .. so.. Again turn into the other side .. this time .. focus .. focus you have to get enough sleep in order to wake up early .. I am stressing out! .. again closed my eyes .. and started to imagine myself in that nice dreamy lake shore .. hmmm .. okay .. what am I going to do about that task I have to finish tomorrow .. Ooops ! no noo this is wrong .. when you are trying to sleep , you shouldn't be thinking of the work you have to do the next day .. God.. I am way passed the state of half dead half a live.. I am very much alive ! okay .. so I get up .. drink water and splash some on me .. then grab a book and start reading .. maybe my eyes would go tired and I would fall asleep .. I am using a dim light after all so my eyes should get tired ! .. eventually they do , but my mind is still alert .. its 3:30 a.m. and I am still awake with no signs of sleepiness .. I eventually give up , go back to my bed put my pillow on the other end of my bed and close my eyes .. Hear the Iqameh .. then hear the Dawn Adan .. that’s exactly when my eyes start to feel heavy .. I snatch myself out of bed , pray and then fall like a stone into my bed and finally sleep !